Am I back? Or is this born out of boredom?

 How does one go about with restarting a love/a hobby/a passion?

I used to LOVE coming here with a jumble of excited ideas and thought-trains all clashing into one another, impatient to just get out and get typed out.

Somewhere along the way, when I moved out of my hometown, I started losing the habit. 

It kept dying with every other week and month.

But eventually it was my PhD that killed it for sure.

Academic writing dulled my wit and humor and overall love of composing notes and blogging.

Every two years I had resolve that yes, I'm going to write. I'm not going to surrender my joys and interests for my academic degree. Unfortunately that was about it. I'd made a comeback post resolving with renewed determination and grit, and then I had be back to square one. 

The obsession with social media meant I wasted every free moment looking at content instead of creating my own stories or poems or anything/

I came to the sad conclusion that I would only be able to regain my own life once my PhD was over. And now it is over and I'm confused and getting cold feet. I couldnt help wondering -

- What if I've probably lost my own style of writing after so many years of disuse? What if I'm no longer good at writing. What if even if i do manage to write one good post, I'd still be undisciplined and not write frequently enough to keep the passion alive? What do I write about? 

and on and on and on my head goes.

Anyway, if you like stream of consciousness, anxiety-infused irregular blog posts, maybe stay?

I'll share all about the niche things/situations I love, and you could read and tell me how I can dust off my dormant writing skills and get better.

Lyrical videos!! (and then I meander into covers territory)

Aw man,
I've been wanting to talk about them since ages. Ages! I mean, c'mon, what's not to like?

More and more artistes are turning to releasing lyrical videos initially and building the hype up thusly, getting viewers wanting more- and bam! comes the real deal. Only, for me, I'm more vested in the lyrical video than the actual music video of songs.

Usually you get so caught up in the video, that you wholly or at least partially get distracted from the music.Seriously, check out most of the m/vs. They spend like pots of gold and churn out the flashiest scenes for the single. Result? Humungous dollops of eye candy (which is always nice!), but makes the music secondary.

Take "Payphone" for example. It's so frikkin' movie-like, that I didn't notice the music,

UNTIL Julia Sheer came up with the loveliest cover of the single. Then I was hooked on to both the cover AND the original for life. Luff.

WHICH is why "Someone Like You" is awesome. Also "Rolling in the Deep". Ok, both are different in tone, but BOTH focus on the singer and the music. (And duh, I'm an Adele fan, which probably became obvious with this one sentence).

Y'anyways, I'll try to stop the veering off the topic, and steer us back in. Lyrical videos. As in, the whole lyrics of the single showing up all over the video instead of sexy, almost-naked ladies and just as nonsensical stuff. So awesome! I mean, this is how music videos should have been since the beginning. Yeah, I know how most videos have chyrons and important words from the lyrics showing up anyway. But lyrical videos are a different planet. Just love! Here are three of the lyrical videos I loved. This one was the first lyrical video I noticed as such. Which isn't ancient and is kinda very recent, in fact.

Katy Perry's "Wide Awake" lyrical video was adorable. For me anyway. I cherished it even more when I realised what crap the real music video was. Duh. Katy Perry, are you pretending to be a witch in that video? Is that a reference to Omen I see in it in between? Is that the Cheshire Cat? Have I gone mad? Way too many questions and swear words rushing all at once within my head. Not good.

Christina Perri's "A Thousand Years": That song was so sweet. Saccharine. I just wish it weren't linked up with THAT dreck movie. If you know what I mean. And then last week or so I met Taylor Swift's "We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together". And again, it was the lyrical video that won me over, more than Taylor in a platinum ponytail and is that a 60s era scene you guys are grooving to?

OoooooooooooOOOOOoooooOOOOOooh, we called it off again last night, But OoooOOOOOOOooooh! I LOVE that Oooooh part SO much!

Be sad and rich or be happy and footloose?

The things people do and seek out, try out.. all the sake for that very elusive drug called happiness. Really, in the end, when you're asked, "why do you study?"
-"to get a job."
"why do you need a job?"
-"to earn money and fend for myself, stand up on my own feet."
"and after that, what?"

Well what follows is that either you haven't planned that far out into the future, and you're not that into philosophy and the baggage it comes with.

I was just doing a bit of introspection [which really means lotsa thinking when you're bored with nothing better to do, really!] and how I'm faring- now that I'm settled down as a trainee/intern/whateveryouwannacallem- and very happy too-- but with the meagre stipend only. And since I'm lucky enough not to be worried about matters of more gravity like having to substantially provide for family etc, I have the freedom to live off on my own.

And I wondered.

If I were offered a well-paid job as guest lecturer at my former college under that very scary boss. Would I pick that up stat? Or would I rather live light-hearted on a measly stipend off on my own?

Funnily enough, as much as I'd like all the extra moolah I could possibly earn- I would choose the second option. I get the experience of working under one of the awesomest, known-across-library scenario-in the world, nicest boss/Chief at one of the awesomest campus around India. Hey, it's not every day you get to work for a whole year at a campus that resembles a hill station dammit!

YOU check the previous post and THEN you check out the campus I'm at. AND you decide.

Happiness? Or money?

Why I used to heart PostSecret part II- and still do

***

The last 3 are from Feb 14/2011

But the gems like these seem to be lesser and lesser in frequency nowadays and it's more about pervy sex habits and infidelity that I get to see whenever I give the site a visit. But still, the last 3 were from yesterday's post. And I especially heart the last one since it's just so beautiful! I mean, the maturity in that relationship.

Have a lovely day y'all!
Spread the joy =)

Why I used to heart Potsecret a lot

Now playing (forever playing): Walking Far From Home- Iron and Wine
Found this slice-of-heaven of a song from a blog I stalk day and night.Iron and Wine make insanely beautiful music, and in case you haven't ever tried them out, try now!
You could try the above song, plus their Each Coming Night which is so soothing that I can't even put the feeling into words!


Since I don't seem to have the time to actually post anything regular these days, I'm posting my favorite Valentine-related postsecrets in the last three years. here goes!
Starting with the older ones

Where I go blah blah blah

And the quest for the black beaded bracelet thus comes to an end. Yay! I finally found a shop where they sell 'em, so bought 2 while I was at it [what if I lost it again?? *shudder] here to jog your memory.

So I'm pretty much super happy and pleased with myself.

And then I realize that I haven't really blogged what's going on with me for quite a long time. Not that life is dull, but more like too jammed with tests, assignments and the academic damnedness. So much so that I'm almost losing my motivation to blog about myself. Which explains the long gaps between posts.

Second realization is that I never blog about my current classmates or course. Not much anyway. And definitely not much when compared with the frequency and intensity with which I used to blog about MY GIRLS. The ones from my under grad days. Those were great times...

Anyways, snaps myself back to the present and I tell you that these people are fun too. Not like the Offbeat girlfriends of mine, but nice and sweet anyway. Damn, we are like one big family these days ever since living together during the internship. Oh I love 'em. There's this film-crazy duo who keeps spouting apt one-liners from Malayalam movies every five minutes, and another duo that just leave the campus as soon as classes are over. Unfortunately, I've joined them since this semester. So I've pretty much forfeited my rights to criticizing them!

Oh! I'm trying to get my uncle to buy me that new book "Love in a headscarf". The title did sound something like that.. What? It's not every day that you get chick-lit from the Muslim woman's angle. And that too about someone who's educated and independent and NOT oppressed. Quite a refreshing change!

By the by, there were quite a lot of blank stares for my "selective amnesic" post. That post was about a friend who used to be real close, but now we have totally grown apart, thanks to X ignoring me. That ha never happened to be before, so, it pretty much hurt.

Changing topics; I'm about to come out with a secret almost everyone knows by now. I'm addicted to South Korean stuff. Well, except for their diet, I'm fascinated by their culture, the gorgeous celebs, their uber-awesome dramas and music, the hilarious-I-can't-stop-laughing kind of celeb reality shows, the picturesque outdoors and weather. Nowadays, I can understand half of the things they say. Ahhhhhh. Normally, there are two reactions when I start talking on the topic:

1.      everyone rolls their eyes and runs away from me when I come dangerously close to starting to gush;

2.      OR they listen patiently with amusement heavily wrought all over their face.

This girl here is THE bet actress I've ever, ever seen. Love her range!

And there is a third kind- and this angel assured me that I'm not crazy. That, "it's [the obsession] just being you. It's just an Azra thing!" If I hadn't already loved her, I would've started loving her unconditionally for that one sentence. =)

Errr…Has everyone already left the place?

Knock knock??

PS- I'm being reckless with music and been discovering lots of good stuff [and some bad stuff too]. So will probably share that in the next post.

And currently reading "Pride and Prejudice and the Zombies". Delightful!

The kind of chaos I like

Well, I have always preferred chaos when the other choice is order. So very unlike my mom.
Anyway, this wasn't the kind of chaos I was about to talk about:

After waiting for a very long month [boy, was June long or what] I've finally gotten my first issue of my favorite magazine in the entire universe; The Tehelka by mail.

Oui, aaj se har hafta [i hope the postal deliveries don't snail it] Tehelka machega, Tehelka!
I know I'm being absurdly happy over a simple thing. Yday, drove everyone at home crazy with my mono-celebration when I got it in my hands. Honestly, I don't think I will see another magazine of its kind, ever. No other editorial board would have allowed such sincerity in bringing out the truth all the time. With everyone else, it's all about sensationalizing and bitching.

So here's to Tehelka and the symbolic crow that's eternally perched on top of its header-

May the truth always reign supreme and jhoot bole, kauva kaate!

Randomness

Last year, when I was livin' it up as an Under-Grad, Life Was Beautiful, amazing, and most importantly; IRRESPONSIBLE.

not anymore. I don't think I'm being able to get away with any of my normal goofy-ness or lousy behavior thanks to the in-house dictator at my new place. Yep everyone, I'm doing my Masters currently, as y'all might have already noticed. And unfortunately for me, I spend my time under an uber-strict disciplinarian. Ouch. That hurts essentially. Even more when you remember that I'm too much a bohemian to put up with demands for perfection. Anyways, enuf!
Let's talk about nicer stuff.

*Previous years' regulars on my blog; my beautiful girlfriends are all scattered around the state, away from me. [*one long sigh, and then getting back my act together] Missing them all!
The coolest thing though? NONE of us chose our direct Master's course. As in, apart from Vaika[who's an Economics grad], everyone of my gang is a Functional English grad [DYSfunctional if you please].

1. I chose Master in Library and Information Science [doesn't sound posh or swanky, but is quite a good choice] {MLISc}
   
2. Namitha chose Masters in Journalism. {MCJ}
   
3. Vinaya chose PG in Social Work.{MSW}
4. Vaikhari dahling is doing Master in International Relations. [DEFINITELY swanky!]
5. Ragitha is doing her MBA
6. Oh! Prajisha got married! Might take up Bachelor in Edu next year,hopefully.
7. Nimisha is in her Master of Hospital Administration, and loving it. [actually, everyone's loving what they chose!]
8. And our very sporty Vrindha is ready for some literal jet-settin' with her IATA studies.

See? I absolutely LOVE how different we are from the normal lot. =)


*Next bit of randomness is something quite big.
MY COUSIN BRO'S WIFE DEAR HAS BAGGED THE SECOND RANK IN HER UNIVERSITY FOR PG STATISTICS!! yippeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!

*I'm soooo proud of the people I love!
Another of the people I really really adore and love is gearing up for her UGC NET exam in English Literature. Aw, I love her sooo much! =)

*I've officially fallen in love with my all-new,shorter hair. I don't exactly flaunt it at college, but I do at home, much to mom dear's chagrin. ;)

*Waiting for December to come save me, 'cos by end of first week of December my semester exams will be O.V.E.R. Then I can go and kill myself over the amazing books at my University library, plus watch the tonnes of good movies in my system.

*Again waiting for the time of December, to have a real, looooooong chat with my wonderful online neighbours. Plus do some quality blogging.

*I would soooooo love to drive up and down to college on my own. But then, I would miss out on the daily chaos I get from public transport!

*I'm working on this imaginary script where I'm settled in Delhi as a librarian with a BIG salary. Single, and friends strewn all over the metro. Niiiiice. I grab an occassional pani-puri once in a while during the story [somethin I don't get here in South India much]

*Probably forgotten the better bits of randomness. But hell, I'm late for college! Byyyyye!!

25 unexpected things about me

...which I don't think you will EVER comprehend. But still, you ought to know, since I was tagged to do this list long time back.
[See Jean? i keep promises, even if I do delay them by years at times!]

Shall we begin?

1. I believe in "15 till I die!"[doesn't make much sense since I'm no more even a teen]

2. I bought a cell phone only this January. It's weird that I have been phone-less for so long when everyone 13+ now seems to have a phone to boot.

3. I'm the mastermind who comes up with the zaniest and most impractical plans for my group. Never mind that we never try to actually work them out.

4. I'm insanely in love with, and proud of my pet name. You probably could only find people who are ashamed of their pet names. Not me!

5. And I love my real name just as much.

6. I like my blogger name too! [okay, that's it. I'm gonna stop gushing over my own names. makes me look like I have a totally inflated ego]

7. I STILL fantasize that I have this long-lost twin brother/elder brother whose name matches mine-Azhar! Now all I gotta do is find him,maybe he's in S.Korea? Or Spain? Papua New Guinea?

8. I'm sliiightly claustrophobic. I can bear closed spaces but they freak me out. Like, I could be sitting in the aircraft, and all that I can think of is that I'm stuck in here, can't simply walk out of this craft, what if it crashes, etc etc... Which is why I TOTALLY heart the desi autorickshaws. Yeah! completely desi girl!

9. I'm having a non-stop craving for pani-puris which aren't available anywhere within 1000 miles of where I live. Will anyone ship them to me??

10. I hate Roadies and Splitsvilla. Roadies used to be okay until the fourth season, then they lost it. Splitsvilla? you watch it, and I have a valid reason ow to hate you. Ugh!

11. I'm not exactly ur idea of healthy girl. in fact, i look positively anorexic. and i'm not interested enuf to eat a lot. but it ain't bcos I wanna stay skinny. it's just that i never was a foodie.

12. i enjoy cartoons much more than my kid sis. she likes hindi serials [OMG!] ...nah, just kidding!

13. I'm messy. And my mom's a cleanliness-freak.

14. I'm friggingly awesome at annoying people. My guru who kick started that passion in me is Alden Nusser whose book "French Fries Up your Nose" inspired me and has changed me into a "better" person forever. Hats off to you dude, you are the ultimate star!

15. have got wild, untameably curly hair. but i still love it sooo much!

16. I don't sweat much, even if i do, i don't turn on the fan. it's all about conserving energy bud.

17. my IDEAL PLAN FOR THE MOMENT is, save up money, hire an RV-trailer sort of bus/van[the kind rock stars travel in during tours], and go on the trip of a life-time across India with my Offbeat girlfriends,all the other People-I-Love. W.o.w! We'll have a video-cam and I'll keep on blogging to let you into the details.

18. I'm an obsessive kind of person. I get crushes and obsessions quickie.

19. I never had cable tv ever at my home. The first time came now, for this 2 month vaca. We are DD Direct DTH subscribers.

20. I smell my food before eating it. If it smells right, it tastes right!

21. I'm downright obsessed with the Korean channel on my DD DTH network. So much that I'm a complete die-hard fan of South Korean pop culture and now I know more about South Korean stars than I ever was interested in Bolly stars.

22. In fact, the reason WHY I'm a cable tv subscriber now is because DD DTH has removed my Korean channel from the network.

23. Even now I hound Korean entertainment blogs and websites for the latest info about what's going on there. I'm a major fan of South Korean music nowadays.

24. My choice of speaking vocab is plain weird and outta-this-world.

25. My former obsessions include F.R.I.E.N.D.S [sane enuf], Rajeev Khandelwal [bored now], Harry Potter [I even have HP game cards and a Marauder's map of my college i created myself], and there are obsessions that still prevail, like brothers, Keira Knightley etc. I'm guessing my craziest obsession to date must be This S.Korean one though.

My current celebrity crushes are two Korean stars, Lee Minho and Kang Ji Hwan. Two very wow personalities.


I tag anyone who is interested enough.

bLAH bLAH

*Namitha, Vrinda and myself are the new "gang within gang". In respect of being "amazingly slothy", and um, amazingly slothy again. Not just that though, we three are the ones always ready to be deliberately late for lectures, bunk as well,and the first ones to volunteer in anything "ulti-seedhi".

*Eight girls together on an impromptu hike to a beach is mega fun. Even more so when the beach is kinda like an "undiscovered bit of nature."We could hear the roar of the sea miles before we were anywhere near the woods through which we stepped into the beach. And, the sight blew my mind, took my breath away and... made me cuss[I have this problem I see or sense happiness]. The long strip of sands with the water lapping on the edges... I forgot all my initial protests. I had been a bit too lazy and had wanted to opt out of the plan. Good I didn't! The fun was hindered a bit by the stoopid-stoopid male numbers. But still, it was all-out fun. By the end, when Vinaya asked," who all are ready for such a trip 3/4 years later??" All hands went up. I wished we had a couple of scooters or a Hummer (I know it's macho. So?) Vinaya wanted a Gypsy. Whichever way, we want to go there again.

*After that I hopped on with Vrinda and we zoomed on her scooter at....50s and a bit mo'!!!
Reached home with sandy feet and windswept face.

* We wondered how it would be if we made a film. Or a serial. Vaikhari, Prajisha and Ragitha will act. I will be the script-writer, and everything that need be penned down. Vinaya will be the camera-girl(obviously!). Sajla will sing all the background stuff and tracks. Vrinda will handle the transport section. Nimisha will handle the finance department (she's good at numbers. I know!)
Namitha will be the costume designer. And Nilla will be the stunt-woman! Vinaya suggested.
It fits! So who's all ready for Project Movie Making??
All hands shot up.
But i guess Project Mega Serial will be more beneficial since we all can be together for,like eternity!

*Vrinda wonders how it would be if we all end up at the same work-place?
If it's a call center, in Namitha's opinion, no one would call for a second time.
She thinks a bit more and adds, the office would go out of business within a month!!
Considering the kind of behaviour we all put up together, it's possible.

*Vaikhari has found out a sure-fire way on how-to-shut-Raphe's-mouth. Not that I'm such an irritating chatter box though. She's trying to find love-symptoms in my every action,gesture and everything! Like, I told her I can't sleep well nowadays. She declares that I'm in love.I say I'm not hungry, same respponse from her. The girl is yet to notice that you fall in love when there is someone to be called the "love interest". There are none in my life. Silly lovable goose!

*I have taken 500 odd pictures with my friends already!

*It's difficult to have an online life when your Professor is in the same orbit as well. Especially if you're spending a lot of time online when you could be working on your project.

*"Hell is empty, all the devils are here"-Shakespeare. Too true.

*Phone.E's heart broken again by her MCP of a boyfriend.

*Me and my pals are supposed to be contributing stuff to the regional webportal. Nothing has churned out so far.

*I have learnt how to ride on a scooter without having to hold onto the shoulders of Vrinda. Just sit with your hands on your laps. Easy! Namitha on the other side isn't too interested in scooter rides anymo'. She gets back aches!! whoa!

*I'm yet to watch JTYJN. And that makes me feel all grouchy.

Chetan Bhagat/and the cousin parade

Y'day happened to be mighty nice. I ended up with a haul of chocolates, chocolate cookies and 2 books!
I already mentioned once that I haven't read anything this year. So thought, "why not begin?"
I bought Chetan Bhagat's "One night at the Call Center" and his latest offering "The 3 mistakes of my life". I already began the latter. Mmm,what I've read, I liked. Bhagat has a way of blurring the line that sets the autobiographical from the fiction. Like Bach does. But Bach is more complicated in that sense.

And the cookies are so damn yummyyyyyy! Coated with mocha and encrusted with chocolates. Smack!

And hey! My male cousins are wearing bangles now. One already has an ear ring. Actually the over all effect of black bangles resting on their wrists is pretty cool, if you don't examine the bangles in particular. And as long as the bangles aren't tinkling like they do on girls, what's the problem? The women were all staring critically at the bangles. Like offended. For them probably it was bad enough that the boys were wearing chains with lockets, piercing their ears, without moving on to new frontiers. Funny thing is, I'm a girl and I have never really got the hook of wearing bangles. I feel way too silly then. Talk about metro sexuality. One brother lifted a cute plastic bangle from our aunt, before she could protest!

I must say, I have a wide variety of cousins. And more cousins than I could ever count on my own. [I had need all the hands and feet to finish counting them! ;) ]
*Of which two have confessed to reading my blog. No one else bothers to! :(
And I am the first blogger of my family!! Feeling so proud.. And probably first from my college too. Dusk would be second. No one else can see the point of a blog. Waste of time according to them.
*Cousins with fair complexions and grey shades to their character.
*Cousins with dark skin and nice characters.
*And only one cousin who is wonderfully pretty and has an unblemished, flawless character. Pure and innocent, and successful in maintaining that even at the age of 17. She looks like Deepika Padukone!
*And there are DIY mechanic experts and the not-so mechanic experts.
* The best hugger cousin, and she's the Deepika Padukone clone's sister!
*The brand conscious cousins
*And the best play mate cousins with whom I shared some of my best football games and indoor games and treasure hunt games from our old ancestral home.
*And the best surrogate brother comes from this same list of mad cousins.
*The worst surrogate sister too.
*The left handed cousins. Who take away the privileges and attention I used to get as the only leftie of the family! But they are wonderful cousins.
*Then there are the best-for-sleepovers cousins. I have records of talking throughout the night and morning and then hitting the bed when the rest of the family is waking up.
*The Harry Potter freaks and the game freaks. The Orkut freaks and the cricket freaks.
*Ah yeah, the F.R.I.E.N.D.S loving sister-brother duo cousins. Great times I've had with them watching Friends.
*The gossipy ones and the non-gossipy ones. i belong to the latter one. Bcos the others gossip to the extend of slandering.
*And me- the observer/narrator of the whole wide circus of my family, prominently my cousins.

There are more species which I might have forgotten.
*Like the C.B.C Chronic Bachelor Cousin. The name says it all! He's also a globe trotter and amateur sky-diver.
*And when it comes to innocence too there are sub divisions.
--The pure, childlike innocent- that would be D.P look alike.
--The dumb and the innocent-She's innocent alright, but too innocent than one could afford! You could place a knife at her neck and scare her, she will still speak as silently and a night breeze. Once in a while we feel like shaking her voice outta her. But the poor darling has more accidents than anyone else has. Right now, broken leg.
--The silly and the innocent- So innocent that she makes an ass out of herself,unwittingly.
--The shrewd and the innocent- That will have to be me. I give off the aura of a bookish person paired with innocence. But idiots are those who think I'm innocent. My friends had tell you. Whaaaaaaaat? Ashu and innocent? Are you off your rocker?? Most of the time I pretend to be innocent so as to make fools of others. And it always works.

I'm thinking of beginning a trailer review section.
What say you?

Freed from the exam ordeals!!

Finally the day has come! Just when I thought it never would. Phew! Freeeeeeeeeee!!!
So the exam ordeal is over. And I still can't make out why they want us to take second language system in college..? I mean, half or more the things I'm studying in my second language thingy is pure trash.
Can't believe?
Try deciphering this doha by some dude of the 14th century. (sorry, there were absolutely NO dudes in the 14th century!) Anyways, check this mahaan's couplet.
It goes like this:
कहत, नटत, रीझत, खिजत ,मिलत ,खिलत, लाजियात
भरे भौन में करत हैं ,नैनन ही सब बात

Now you understand what I mean???
I'm not telling you what the f*** it means.
And there are these mad poems about a heart broken lover (why should we learn stuff that we don't believe in? Are there any broken hearts around anymo'?) ,
and a depressing poem about a sad woman who finds similarities with a rain cloud.[I can get the expression you're going thru, sigh],and many other poems to.
Oh yeah,and there's a poem about an iron smith. Huh?
What's he doing in the whole lot?
What are the whole lot of these poets doing in this test book and my qwestun paper?
What is this text book doing in my life??
What good changes are they going to bring in my life??????????

Nothing. And the only change these crappy second language text books have brought in my life is a sincerely cynical approach to our edu system and deepening the already deep-rooted belief that "yahaan kabhi kuch badalnewala nahi".

And just last year, one second lang txtbk was of an Arya king. But the worst part was that the whole story seemed to have found its way down to my book from Hitler's library. Shit about how grand and great and broad minded Aryans are and how nasty and niggerly black people are.
Some Indian story.

And this year's txtbk "Draupadi" had us all pitying Karna's fate. So what if he's illegitimate? That's not at all his fault!

Y'know all this love for Karna,Ravana and Duryodhan from my gang's part..
Vinaya chipped in,"it's all about generation gap. The earlier generation respected the Yudhishtir team. We love the rival team."
Blae! I don't care.

Let me see if you can decipher that doha!
Ha!

Apart from this hated post-exam discussion sort of thing I have put here, we had some fun with my camera at college. Then it was lemonades and orange juices..and mangoes!

Won't be seeing any of my darlings till June comes. Then I will be a bigg girl!! I will be in my final yearr!
Ouch.
That hurt.
I don't want to grow up and leave college.
But I realise that I don't want to flunk tests and stay back either.

Bye!

p.s-I will miss the language classes though. they were sooo bunkable classes! I had the best times when those hours were going on and we were outside enjoying the view and the *ahem, non-views. So that means lesser bunks next year. Ah me! :(

Feeding my pet. My bloggie pet. My latest muse.

I get a breather now because my exam has been postponed. Phew!


So..I'm done with my Shakespeare&Poetry paper. Pretty much ok. If you ask me, I ought to ace the exam. But last year, I was just as sure, but somehow things go wrong. Whatever..

So?

I really got worried thinking I was mistreating my blog without feeding it with posts.
"Pieces of me" sure is a piece of me!
It's like having a pet! You look after it,make fuss over it, feed and pamper and spoil it, coo about it to one and all. Showing it off.. Awwwww!

But truth is, I have never had a real,live pet. Excluding the human being pets I have in plenty!
*chuckle!
My otherwise first pet was my teddy bear. That addiction has never left me. Not even now! I am an incompatible mix of mushiness and toughness.
Oh, my tamagotchi pet! I almost forgot! Y'know the tamagotchi nah? It was such a craze 10 years ago. The first real virtual pet craze began with the tamagotchi. Damn cute thing! You get to feed it, overfeed it (then you show him to the doc, and give medical treatment), he poops,pisses and plays.. wondehful!

The best part was that --no dirt! You are not messing with the real poop! Just great!

I got so indulgent of him. Then doggie died and was buried in the virtual cemetery. *sniff

But then I reset the tamagotchi and got back to fussing the new chick. feathers and cuteness.

My current pets are..
1. Five year old Snuffles
2. Four year old Darcy
3. Three year old Padfoot (he was supposed to be gifted to Riph. If I hadn't fallen in love with the cute lamb!)
4. Two year old Harajuku kind of wooden doll (no name yet. can you suggest something? what? Gwen????? you must be joking!)
5. The last one. Just one year old. No name. Tiny like Ron's Pigwidgeon. Small, yellow. Gifted to me by K.S (kid sis)

All stuffed and softies. Cutie pies. I will post their pictures asap.
I could have had six all in all, if Riph hadn't taken revenge on me on the same coin. Last birthday of mine she tells me, "I've bought you a cute teddy". Next thing I hear,"but I fell in love with it. So can't give you!"
The darling devil!

The so-called Great Story

I'm not sure if this one post makes any sense (they never did,you point out!). I've been out of my mind ever since the study hols began I guess. More outta my mind than usual. Kipping up without a sight of my friends..haa..painful..just phoning..graah...I'm not liking this scenario however nice it maybe if it doesn't contain my *wookies all over and around me.
*Wookies-an endearing term I came across in Richard Bach's book, "The Bridge Across Forever". Choooo cute!

Anyways, coming back..this is an imaginary story Vinaya began and I completed seated in the back bench.. I'll explain.
Here goes.......whooooooooooooooo!
This one happened when we used to sit for our subsidiary classes. Which means this one happened in one of the early months of the academic year. Obviously. Later on we matured and stopped sitting for the subs altogethah. This class was Fiction. Veryyyyyy boring. The subject, the text book,the teacher..everything( stressing on the "v") bores us. That one whole hour of sheer torture. Me and my classmates actually run to the back benches when we realise which hour is coming on! Honest! The professor can beat Prof Binns in a competition for the most soporific class. And the novel? You will die rather than have too study it. "Heart of Darkness". See what I mean? Even the book's name is depressing. The whole room seems to be filled with silent inward groans whenever the class begins.

I'm forgetting what I was actually post! So before that happens,here's a prologue by me to the story.
--Prologue--
Back bench. We've propped up bags so as to carry on what we are doing without the teacher noticing. I'm reading the same sentence of the library book I'd taken for the 10th time or something. But making progress. Namitha is sleeping. Nimisha was playing Snake or something on her phone. (No ban on phones in our college. They trust us!) Prajisha and Ragitha,the nice girls were sitting up close and front in the front bench listening attentively to the teacher. Or trying to. Whatever.

--------The story--------
Mr Fat and Mr Huge met near the basket( I really don't know what Vinaya meant be "basket") during Fiction class at Functional English. Fat asked Huge, "What are your plans for the last hour?" Huge was reading a book and not listening to the class. (As if she was!) He replied, (from here on I wrote the story) As long as Fat doesn't make stories again, I might as well run away.
Fat and Huge thought it was high time since they played a prank. They decided to blow a dung bomb in the department and in between that commotion they and Sleepy and Phon.E (spelled as "phony" )could slip away easily.
What about the Quiet and Smile in front?
The Quiet and Smile will remain quiet and smile.
[ This led to a volley of silenced laughter from the pair of us, which led to ma'am looking up, Namitha slightly opening her eyes from her beauty sleep]
-Pause-
[Then we had to end the story with this line]
If they throw the dung, they should do it before Yakkity-Yak rushes in. [Ma'am had apparently left the room for a while]

So?

What was I trying to prove?
That we have no talent for making up stories? Or that we were trying to make a big deal of something ordinary?

You dahlings tell me. I'm waiting eagerly!
Love y'all. Ciao!

Lazy and blogging when I should be studying. Blae!

If it hadn't been for the fact that all my friends (yep,the whole lot of them) were so doomed lazy, you had think that no one cared for each other. Not that I'm any better,I could only be worse. Each one of us have a problem moving our respective asses off the seat where we are.
And as we are all without seeing the rest for some weeks( study leave!), it's getting kinda boring at home. I've been having a bit o' fun on my own though.Shopping,travelling and my dental appointments have kept me on my feet. We could meet up if we could muster up the energy to get off our respective couches and sofas and beds.
We are so lazy, that no one is even bothered to call up the rest. So difficult to press the buttons,huh? The max one had go is to do a missed call on the rest to remind them, "Hey, i exist! i remember u!" That kind of thing.
Couple of days ago, I called up Vinaya. Someone has to begin na?
We crap a lot, I tell her of a weeiiiiiirrrrrd dream I'd last night. Usually Namitha's the one who has the weirdest dreams. Vinaya chuckled out at the end saying,"you beat her this time!"
By the time we hang on each other, I've slouched onto the floor, reciever in hand. btw-it was a pretty short phone call. The calls during which I slump onto the floor usually lengthens to 2 or 3 hours. But now that has lessened.
Maybe it's the prick-o'-conscience in respect of the phone bills.
Or maybe its bcos no Riph's calls now. She's like my other half.I'm Raphe, she's Riph. The girl is doing her posting (or whateva it was; i guess its something like the interns).Doing her dental science course.I'm soooo proud of you,gurl! So she's mighty busy-busy. No more calls. We had see each other everyday at school, but would still ring up and chat for hours on end.
Miss you babe! Work hard and become a good dentist! My teeth are waiting! No,honestly! I'm pretty sure I've the worst set of teeth around this side of Earth. My dentist has already worked her way through three of 'em. *Sigh. Some sort of fate,huh?

I'm supposed to be using these days for studying. But the disgusting part is that, though I'm an English major, I have to study for my second language-Hindi harder. English subjects are easy-breezy for me. But Hindi? Uff! I'm getting up at wee hours to get a head-start on it. 5 goddamned textbooks for an optional language. WTF? And the whole Hindi syllabi we have is sooo damnably goody-two-shoe genred, that I can't help but feel like throwing up everytime I pick up my Hindi textbooks.As a language, Hindi is pretty cool. But academic material? Oh no thanks.
I feel blessed that the cursed subject won't be there in my final year. Thank God!

Alvida then!

Black is the new black!

How do ja like moi new template?
This is mucho better than the first one, I believe.

Just being random

I was terribly mean y'day. For a moment, I just lose myself to the wicked selfish demon in me. Sorry sweetie! I really didn't mean to hurt you, it happened on an impulse.
Apart from that I was being myself. Morning Vinaya,Vaikhari and myself go to a video rental shop (which is one whole lollipop far away{waise, the lollipop was yummy!}), and rent a lot of cd's to last for the 4 days at home. Yes sirreee, it holiday time again, sigh! Now you'll have to put up with my whining. From the lot I rented, I've already finished watching one cd. Its an 80's Malayalam slapstick movie and had me rolling all over my chair clutching my sides laughing!

Oh, by the way, I really got blown away by this song of Linkin Park "Leave out all the rest", I'd heard it a couple of times before. But yesterday, somehow I felt like I was listening to it for the first time.. Powerful words, about the same insecurity most of us have. "Will I be missed when I'm gone?" That kind of thing.. I'm giving the lyrics below, couldn't resist myself!
I dreamed I was missing/You were so scared
But no one would listen/'Cause no one else cared.

After my dreaming/I woke with this fear
What am I leaving/When I'm done here


So if you're asking/Then I want you to know-

When my time comes/Forget the wrongs that I've done
Help me leave behind some/Reasons to be missed

And don't resent me/When you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory/ Leave out all the rest..Leave out all the rest
Thats just the beginning, but doncha agree it's beautiful? Sadow of thee day is another soothing song, I loved.

Lets change topics. I had a class test this monday. And for the first time this year, I see every of my classmates together in the classroom! Happy time! Nah, mates aren't so nerdy to sit together just bcos of a test. This one was the internal assessment stuff. Good paper, but answer paper proved to be sliiiiiiightly tough, hehe! But it was more about creative writing, so that was fun. And I was acting pretty weird. I'd finish writing the answer to something,and I'd whistle.
Loud and clear.
Which irritated Vinaya, who kept kicking me whenever I whistled. I was pretty much whistling throughout the test paper! Which reminds me, Namitha doesn't know how to aankh-maarna (wink), or to whistle! The rest of the buddies know the one-eyed saucy wink, but whistling is yet to mastered. I know how to whistle! I know!
And that reminds me, I believe we have a telepathic bond; us girls. 'Cos, whener one suggested something or remarked something, the rest would look up in amazement and say,"I was thinking the same damn thing!" And if you're still skeptic, get lost! This telepathy just seems to get stronger day by day!

Global warming is DEFINITELY around. I know I must be worried at changed climate patterns, but how can I ever be worried when its raining?! Rain makes me fall in love with e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g ! Simply everything. Even the baddest situation is only manageable if it happens when it raining. My only grievances are the constant power cuts and the sticky wet mud.

I came across this website called guitarshredshow. You can learn all about how to play guitars from this website,according to them. I checked it, and a virtual guru comes up and asks me to breathe in and out,in and out,in and out...until finally I lose patience and say,"buzz off!" So if you check this website and understand whats it all about, do tell me!

And I really wanna the bike rides. Truly,madly,deeply wishing for some long rides in the rain. Namitha and yours truly are at college, and whenever some friend zooms past on a bike, we're like, "mera number kab aayega,jaan?" Some hard hitting, thriller ride anyone?

Drew a lot of flak from Vinaya and Vaikhari for the candid contempt I have for the regional movies. I say things like "blae", and make faces when they discuss Malayalam and Tamil movies. They really hate that. And for them its almost patriotism! As if I'm some anti national! Vaikhari gives me a speech that wherever I go across the world, these are the things I willl be identified with. Now that I think of it, maybe she thought I hate the whole culture. No. I love my place, the colourful culture, the ironical dry humour, the many festivals.. If anything, I'm proud of it all. But please don't ask me to watch 'em movies. Except for a very rare few, I think the industry hasn't much to offer.

By the way, I'm thinking of doing a DIY pedicure. Any tips?

SUB-POST
J asked for the compilation that made it rain. Here goes!
Umbrella-Rihanna
Peelo-Outlandish
Creamer-Limp Bizkit
My sacrifice-Creed
In my place-Coldplay
Stan-Eminem
Remember the name-Fort Minor
My Immortal/ Bring me to life/ Imaginary- Evanescence
Wake me up when September ends-Green Day
Cold hard bitch-Jet
Twisted Transisitor-Korn
Wake/Hands held high/The little things give you away/Shadow of the Day/Leave out all the rest/ What I've done/ My december/Its going down/One step closer- Linkin Park
Sweet Home Alabama-Lynyrd Skynyrd
Figured you out/If everyone cared/Far away-Nickel Black
This I promise you- N'Sync
Californication/Dani California- RHCP
I knew I loved you/Affirmation/ Animal Song-Savage Garden
Addicted-Simple Plan
Wherever you will go-The Calling
Headstrong-Trapt
Sail away/No fear-Rasmus

So? If you can pick out which my rain-feel songs are, 10 points to you! And if you can make out which my personal favourites are, bonus points and a yellow star too! Here's a clue, I simply lurve hard rock and jazz. Plus punk,funk, slow, blah blah. Sorry. that was a pretty tough clue. But what can I say? I love every genre. Reggae, electronic, metal, strings whatevah. I love music.
Have a rainy day,I hope! I'm having rain here.
J, I dunno if the charm of the rain wears off when passing the compilation along. Good luck anyway.

'Ta!
P.S- I'm watching "Music and Lyrics", good movie, as far as I saw. Can anybuddy get me the lyrics of "way back into love"?Please, please? Pretty please?

Loving the rain/ Loving the season

This is supposed to be March,but it's raining for 3days like monsoon! Mom suspects the global warming phenomenon. But I think it's the music my friend compiled for me (most of the songs have a rain feel). The first time I play the songs, the climate was hot, and by night it's actually raining! Call me weird, but I listen to every song in the folder, and it rains a lot! really a lot! So just to make sure, I'm not listening to 'em today. Just to see if it will rain even then!
Hey,that doesn't mean I hate rain! Quite the opposite!! Y'day evening it rained pretty much, so I stepped out and got drenched. Beautiful feeling, just to stay outside,letting the rain wash your face, forgetting that there are nosy neighbours who might be thinking am mad.. Let them! Friends think it's a gloomy season, but me? Beautiful! Not intended that I'm not interested in summers. Happy season,all golden and mellow in January and February.

Anyways, weekends tend to be boring nowadays, so I thought I'd just post another poem of mine. This one was published in last year's college magazine. I dunno if it's worth even trash, but I'll wait for feedback! Here goes!

The Last Burning
How come I can smile,
When my heart breaks?
How come I am laughing,
Even as I listen to my hopes shattering?
How is it I am brave enough
To keep my tears hidden and unshed?
Why is it, that though I can barely breathe
I am trying to move on?
What keeps me going
Even as my dreams fall apart?
How come I'm still alive
When you and your words have killed me?
Why do I pretend nothing has happened,
When there's nothing left anymore in me?
Why did I behave like doing fine,
When I was actually spending sleepless nights?
Why am I still addicted to you,
Though I know you don't care for me?
Why do I want you more than ever,
When you bring pain sharper than before?
Why do I dream of you as mine,
When the truth is more or less contrary?
Why did I love you till my heart broke?
Why did I let myself stray into this?
Why do I still love you this way?
When all you did was make me lost.
I began to fade and retreat.
Now just a dead soul in a living shell.
I knew when I bade you goodbye
I wanted you to remain/stay.
Why am I trying to live,
When you are trying to leave?
Why did I stay back and go through all this
When it had been easier to run?
Why am I asking all these questions,
Why so,
When the last breath of my life is going out...

DISCLAIMER:
Hey, I'm not at all heart broken,ok? I'm telling you this right now, 'cos once this poem got published I'd the whole college asking me who my affair gone bad was?
No one! This piece is only a figment of fertile imagination. Cheers!

Happy Feet Part 2

Some people think I'm missing college because I'm missing my books(or something of the sort). Wrong!Firstly because I don't read anything when I'm at college. I wished to be back at college because of my friends. And immobility because of recurrent hartals wasn't helping things either. So when I finally set foot outside my home, I was taking in a fresh breath of liberty. Wonder why people like being cooped up at home, when they can have a riot at college or school..

Everyone pities the burn on my hand, but pitied more the fact that I burnt five yummy mussels!

At college, just one hour class. Rest we loaf. First two hours withVinaya and Vaikhari in the computer lab. Vinaya meddled with Bigadda ("too colorful and confusing,yaar"), then she read my blog. I got hit for writing that her feet sucks. Awkay.... I take that back. Instead, I'll say this," Vinaya's feet aren't actually that bad. They just looked un-good in the snaps..

Dusk began a blog. "Girl with chocolate complexion". Yet to read.

After lunch, Vinaya,Namitha,Ragitha and myself are sitting under the big trees. Singing and then we became ummm..serious. Yup. You heard right. For those who know us, this comes as a shock. But, anyways..we talked about death,suicide, being practical in romantic issues..blah blah. And of course, the current volatile situation around here.

Out and about. I'm hoping for some good music tomorrow. We'll see. Dunno what went into me, but I was shelling a lot of money today evening. Lent money to a buddy, knowing that I wouldn't be seeing it back. Then bought smoothies for myself,Namitha and Ragitha. Got too late, so we run. Down the same path I wrote about light years ago [Happy Feet]. We three take off our footwear, run ,run,run! That was fun and silly. Mainly because we 3 had inferiority complex about the way we run. We feel oh so awkard dearies! Namitha quipped," wonder how we'll get through a 100 mtr race?"

Then it's back home, in front of my blog.

P.S- Vinaya, you'd better know; plus the others. I'm not gonna write about you again if you go on reading without commenting! Now that's a threat!

Messing in the kitchen and garden

Grounded for 4 days now,along with a sunday. Makes it 5 days straight at home. Lousy week! Mother's trying to make the most out of it by (trying) to teach me cooking dishes. That went on smoothly with some spats and all. Trouble is,once I have prepared a curry or whateva, mom will shoot questions about how it was made and blah blah. Wacky time I'm having! But I hadn't burnt anything until last night. Yesternight I burnt the special sea food dinner and my left wrist. Hey! You're not supposed to sit mum now. You're supposed to say,"Oh my darling, poor you. Does it hurt?" That's much better! I love being pampered and spoilt! Anyway,just a black scar left now.

Apart from messing in the kitchen, I water mom's beloved plants and trees. See? I'm very caring and mature! But I'll leave that to you to decide. I'm not at all patient and thus not at all a garden person. But being a day dreamer helps! It means I spend quality time with the plants! Oh, and music is very important. Raphael functions on music!
In between, I so hate the summer locusts. They make me jump outta my skin. Creepy! And once this chamaleon darts at me at an alarming speed. I almost screamed. Phew! Think its funny? ITS NOT!!!
But I love the cute black butterfly that persisted flitting near me when I was out and about in the garden.