Saturday, March 27, 2010

Of heartbreaks and the Heartless

For some, Heartless may remind them of that really popular number by Kanye West, plus the equally amazing Fray cover and makes-me-wanna-swoon cover by Kris Allen.
But, I meant Heartless as in, me. All me.

Last week or the previous one- not sure when; I find it hard to track which day I'm breathing in; anyway, some time back, there was a flurry of break ups, anticipated break ups and all. Good ol' Eddie [Edward] got dumped by his girlfriend. Serves him right, maybe now he'll try to remain single for at least 7 whole days, ha! Then, the same day another friend buzzed about what looked like his break-up related misery. But later it turns out he wasn't even dating in the first place to have been dumped. Or so he says.
Anyhoo, this love is takin' its toll on me.

I just can't stand listening to break ups without laughing at inappropriate grave parts of the "heart-rending" story. When I'm forced to console someone with love failure, I end up overdoing the consoling part, making it seem like someone died.
I never can empathize much with a dumpee. You took the risk and fell in love; you should have been ready for this consequence too! In short, I'm what people call Heartless, all cold-logic, mean. But I'm what I call, self-preserving and practical.


So, don't I ever feel love? Yeah sure, I fall in love, crush and burn every other day. But that's all. All you have to do is show an ion of interest back, and I skitter to the remotest planet possible. Why?
Because I have least possible faith in myself and don't think it possible that I might actually be likeable to people other than friends.But then there are times when I think, hey, I'm too good to be anyone's girl!

I just have crushes on people. Ranging from Sirius Black and Darcy to Keira Knightley. Yes, even Keira. She tops my list of straight, same-sex crushes.

I'm mostly a "So What" and "I Will Survive" kind of person, though thanks to my love for indie and jazz music, I find I'm turning into quite the mellow, laidback romantic.

But right now?
I'm in a very dreamy state thanks to a South Korean novel "Coffee Prince" and the hit drama which followed [same name].
I don't and can't read Korean. I'm reading an English translation of the book and have watched a couple o' episodes of the drama which was loosely translated off the book.
End of Pause.

Clickie here in case you had like to check it out. It unintentionally raises a lot of questions as regards homosexuality, which I loved about it. Apart from the unique love story line.
For now I have succeeded in getting dahlings Gilsha and Remya interested in the story.

And here's something I penned down when I was in a mellow and dejected mood. [sure, the 2 emotions can blend together]

Even if I walk away,
Even if I don't turn back,
Even if didn't smile
Or look your way.

Please don't leave.

I'm scared of a lot of things,
About myself,
About you,
About relationships.
Things that make me run away
Every time I fall for you,
Again and again.

So stay.
Hold me tight,
Lock your fingers with mine.
Pull me back
No matter how hard I may try to run.

It's still in the draft mode, so grin and bear.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

French Connection

All thanks and love to Vaika for turning my otherwise possibly mundane Sunday into a much, much nicer affair.


Because, the darling came home with her current classmates, plus our ex-senior from college, PLUS his cousin. So basically, a car with 6 hep people pulled in front of my place this morning. What's the big deal?

Well, the deal is that her classmates are not Indian. The 3 gorgeous ladies are exchange students from France. In short, veryyyyyyy cool! I'm not even able to decide whom I liked better- Maud? Alice? Or Suzanne? Though they are so alien to Indian culture and everything- I don't think our usual Indian guests could have been this nice, sweet and easy to talk with.


Reason why they dropped in at my place is the French Connection. I live kinda close to Mahe- which by the way, was a colony of the French and still has some traces of French culture lingering all over the place. It's not as explicitly obvious about its French Connection as Pondicherry is. But still, the exotic-ness is always in the air. Though not so visible and is mostly limited to shops and streets with French names.


They loved the sweet dishes mom had prepared [with just the teensiest bit of assistance thrown in by me]. Unfortunately sweetheart Vaika had to grin and bear it. She HATES sweetness. Ok, Hate is too strong a word. More like, can't handle, can't stand. We had opted out spicy dishes since Alice, Maud and Suzanne may not like the strong spicy stuff.


After the food, some snaps and general chat on how they feel and what they like about Kerala, do they watch Indian movies? [yes- last one was MNIK and it was ok-dokey. They're still trying to get the subbed version of Water [or was it Fire?] and no luck with that.

 So if you happen to know a link or anything that might help, gimme a shout! I'd to turn on comment moderation because of incessant, irritating spam. Looks like the spam king is out to get me. Aaaaaaargh.


Within the one hour or so that they were here, and I'm already in love with all three of them. I guess it's the French charm.


Hope they had a good time altogether in India!

Thursday, March 4, 2010


Especially when the people who are being so outrageously weird like you happen to be best friends. Ha! This monday yours truly and friends Vinaya, Vaikhari, Namitha and Prajisha strutted around our old college as part of a tiny meet-up. Was worth the wacked-out lie I had to dish out to my teacher. Totally worth it. =)
Juniors were real sweet on seeing us back, with our ice lollies in hand. And when you are crazy, and a guy you know from old times comments that you lot haven't matured EVEN after graduating [points at the ice lollies] - you smile and nod approvingly- "Yeah! we are immature, weird and we love the fact!"

Weirdness part II:
I think I'm the only person who has "Pray for me brother" of A R Rahman as ringtone. I think I'm the only one who's noticed that it's prelude makes for "The Perfect Ringtone Ever". [sure, i was awfully arrogant]. But all these notions got drowned when I heard my cousin's phone ring. Yeah, you already guessed it- he's got "Pray for me brother" as ringtone too! freaky-freaky ditto!

Must say- it is such a gorgeous song guys. Try using it as ringtone and I'm pretty sure you won't want to change it-ever. I tried, but here I am, still using the same ringtone as 8 months back. { with minor exceptions of "pichle saat dino mein" from "Rock On!!" for the Brennen buddies and a brother and "That's not my Name!" from Ting Tings for the best friends}

Weirdness Part III:
Listened to classmate J relate her love story.Strong ol' Raphael turned into a nonsensical mess of mush and goo. I usually am pretty cold and detached and even downright insulting to love stories, but this one was so sweet and true.... Youch!
I thought she had managed to melt the ice in me with that story of hers. Which was really impressive by the way.
The sugar-effect clung to me for just 2 hours. Phew! I'm back to being happily single and anti-love and all that jazz people! Doncha guys love me for that?

right, ciao for now.

PS- Uber huge hugs and kisses to Vaika for adding one more reader to my blog. Love ye sweet Vaiks! and warm welcome to you too- silent-reader-from-MGU. Thanks for the silent support. Much appreciate it.