Monday, December 13, 2010

Try to Remember

Even after hundreds of movies with pichle janam ka pyaar and the like, people never get bored of 'em, do we?
Maybe you do, but this movie in here is inspired from a historical artifact that was unearthed in South Korea, famously known as "Letter to Won's Father". Man, I don't know whether the movie will be great, but the trailer is fine, the music used in it is…just right, and most importantly? The crux of the movie, the letter itself. Just had to share it!

In 1998 a 16th-century mummy of Eung-tae, a member of Korea's ancient Goseong Yi clan was found in a construction site, as they unwrap the mummy a letter written by his wife was found laying on the chest of the mummy, below its translation of the letter.
To Won's Father
June 1, 1586

You always said, "Dear, let's live together until our hair turns gray and die on the same day. How could you pass away without me? Who should I and our little boy listen to and how should we live? How could you go ahead of me?
How did you bring your heart to me and how did I bring my heart to you? Whenever we lay down together you always told me, "Dear, do other people cherish and love each other like we do? Are they really like us?" How could you leave all that behind and go ahead of me?
I just cannot live without you. I just want to go to you. Please take me to where you are. My feelings toward you I cannot forget in this world and my sorrow knows no limit. Where would I put my heart in now and how can I live with the child missing you?
Please look at this letter and tell me in detail in my dreams. Because I want to listen to your saying in detail in my dreams I write this letter and put it in. Look closely and talk to me.
When I give birth to the child in me, who should it call father? Can anyone fathom how I feel? There is no tragedy like this under the sky.
You are just in another place, and not in such a deep grief as I am. There is no limit and end [to my sorrows] that I write roughly. Please look closely at this letter and come to me in my dreams and show yourself in detail and tell me. I believe I can see you in my dreams. Come to me secretly and show yourself. There is no limit to what I want to say and I stop here.
(Courtesy Andong National
See? I knew it was worth posting! Makes even cold me melt. The protagonists meet, and the guy gets the déjà vu feeling that he might have met her somewhere before. As the movie progresses, they both see the news of the letter separately, and on a strange impulse go there and well, things start falling into place. =)

For some strange reason, I can't upload the trailer. So here's the link instead. Take care y'all.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

This is what happens when I'm forced to study

More like,even the simplest things can distract you. You get lots of ideas for multiple posts for your blog. You remember the old friend who'll be back in town this week. You start making up fun, crazy, wack stories in your head- which would be totally worthy of becoming a script- in your own head and your very own dramaland.

But sometimes, there are reaaaaaaally, reaaaaaaaally prettier and better things to distract you. I was supposed to be studying for the exams [which are thankfully over now. Huzzah!] but Nature wasn't in the mood to cooperate. After sending blissfully lengthy showers by way, God sent me a perfect, perfect, PERFECT rainbow. I swear, it doesn't get better than this.
And I happily clicked away, swooned over the rainbow and texted to see if anyone else had my luck. Nope. It's just me. =)

 all I need are some unicorns and marshmallows to get going with my own fairy tale. But I'd prefer a chocolate factory instead of that marshmallow element. Hm.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Where I go blah blah blah

And the quest for the black beaded bracelet thus comes to an end. Yay! I finally found a shop where they sell 'em, so bought 2 while I was at it [what if I lost it again?? *shudder] here to jog your memory.

So I'm pretty much super happy and pleased with myself.

And then I realize that I haven't really blogged what's going on with me for quite a long time. Not that life is dull, but more like too jammed with tests, assignments and the academic damnedness. So much so that I'm almost losing my motivation to blog about myself. Which explains the long gaps between posts.

Second realization is that I never blog about my current classmates or course. Not much anyway. And definitely not much when compared with the frequency and intensity with which I used to blog about MY GIRLS. The ones from my under grad days. Those were great times...

Anyways, snaps myself back to the present and I tell you that these people are fun too. Not like the Offbeat girlfriends of mine, but nice and sweet anyway. Damn, we are like one big family these days ever since living together during the internship. Oh I love 'em. There's this film-crazy duo who keeps spouting apt one-liners from Malayalam movies every five minutes, and another duo that just leave the campus as soon as classes are over. Unfortunately, I've joined them since this semester. So I've pretty much forfeited my rights to criticizing them!

Oh! I'm trying to get my uncle to buy me that new book "Love in a headscarf". The title did sound something like that.. What? It's not every day that you get chick-lit from the Muslim woman's angle. And that too about someone who's educated and independent and NOT oppressed. Quite a refreshing change!

By the by, there were quite a lot of blank stares for my "selective amnesic" post. That post was about a friend who used to be real close, but now we have totally grown apart, thanks to X ignoring me. That ha never happened to be before, so, it pretty much hurt.

Changing topics; I'm about to come out with a secret almost everyone knows by now. I'm addicted to South Korean stuff. Well, except for their diet, I'm fascinated by their culture, the gorgeous celebs, their uber-awesome dramas and music, the hilarious-I-can't-stop-laughing kind of celeb reality shows, the picturesque outdoors and weather. Nowadays, I can understand half of the things they say. Ahhhhhh. Normally, there are two reactions when I start talking on the topic:
1.      everyone rolls their eyes and runs away from me when I come dangerously close to starting to gush;
2.      OR they listen patiently with amusement heavily wrought all over their face.
This girl here is THE bet actress I've ever, ever seen. Love her range!

And there is a third kind- and this angel assured me that I'm not crazy. That, "it's [the obsession] just being you. It's just an Azra thing!" If I hadn't already loved her, I would've started loving her unconditionally for that one sentence. =)

Errr…Has everyone already left the place?
Knock knock??

PS- I'm being reckless with music and been discovering lots of good stuff [and some bad stuff too]. So will probably share that in the next post.

And currently reading "Pride and Prejudice and the Zombies". Delightful!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Adorkabl-est movie of the year

Seriously, from my opinions about the movies whose teasers I reviewed in this post, I think only this movie has been true. Everything else was heart-breakingly pretentious and cheated on me. Yes, I'm talking to you- backstabber I Hate Luv Storys and Aisha. I don't think I can ever trust you with a movie again Imran. But then again, maybe I took this long to reach that conclusion only cos I didn't dare watch your dreck movies Luck and Kidnap.

Anyways, presenting to you Tere Bin Ladan, starring good ol' Ali Zafar, Pak pop singer. Sigh… I've missed you, boy. I fell in love with him years back after watching his music videos "Channo" and "Sunre Sajaniya". He was adorkable back then and still adorkable now. And this movie makes full use of his dorky-ness.

Though it's barely one and half hour long, it's not too overloaded with plots. There's one plot, and the movie does perfect justice to it. Btw, I had to clutch my sides and stuff my fist in my mouth to stop from laughing too hard. It's a riot.
Once more for emphasis: It is a R-I-O-T.

And lordy, I missed you so, so, so very, very much Shaleen meri Kaleen!! Great comeback, girl! [rememb the tomboy from JTYJN? she's in here! And I did see her in the trailer itself! {and I gotta stop being hyper. Control Raphe, control.}]

Movie makes fun of many things in a happy, whimsy, mischievous, playful manner. Like, the American paranoia about terrorists, the Asian dream of making it big in America, the futility of the War on Terror, among other things. One lovely thing you'd notice upon watching the movie is that, even though it's about a Pakistani's story set in Pakistan- you can totally relate with it. Entirely. I especially love how everyone talks in Punjabi. After all, Pakistanis and Indians were all one and the same until that bloody Partition came down on us and dragged everything along with it. You don't really even remember that the movie's supposedly Pakistani, until the characters mention it. Long-lost siblings we both, like I said.

The tone is hilarious, soft political satire, great cast, and a fast moving, tightly packaged script. Everyone already knows the premise of the story, so I won't repeat it. Zafar [gah, even thinking about him makes me want to swoooooon] is the slick guy who's got the gift of the gab and can totally convince anyone to join his wacky plan. Sigh, I loved every single character. I have got this massive crush on the whole movie, the story, the script, the direction, the cast [Qureishi!! Zoya! Lateef! Majeed! Gul! Usman! Ali! And of course, the real star- Noora! And the superstar- Sikander!!]
Confused? Don't worry, you'll find out once you watch the movie.

And why oh why did they ban this gem?
I fell all over in love again with that catchy "He's a good looking Ulloo da Pattha". Kudos to everyone's favorite trio Shanker-Ehsaan-Loy for the music.

My rating? 12 on 10. A must-must-MUST watch for the weekend. Go buy the CD already!
Oh, and one last thing to do before I wrap up the post:

*gets down on one knee, and;
"Tere Bin Ladan, will you marry me??"

Friday, October 15, 2010

Karma's a bitch and i should've known

And hey you,
I didn't die.
I didn't disappear either.
I'm just wondering what happened to you-
Selective amnesia?

P.S. - serves me right though. Usually I'm the one pulling disappearing acts on others.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


 Thanks for the overwhelmingly positive response people!It's funnier since I'm more of a pessimist and don't exactly believe in love and the kind. Anyway, this is post was meant to show my gratefulness for the encouragement etc everyone has showered my way PLUS so that I don't have to do YET another comeback post. lol ;)
I can just imagine everyone coming with weapons to thwack me if I dared!

And yes Jean, I wish I could turn it into a light tune too!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Love me, but with care

If you love me,
Buy me gifts of jazz, indie and rock music;
Not roses and cards.
[Though chocolates are allowed]

If you love me,
Don't dare laugh at my thoughts, dreams, plans.
Just point out when I go stray,
You don't need to drag me away.

If you love me,
(for real)
Say you like me-
Don't add more than that.

If you love me,
Know that I hate when you try keeping tabs on me.

If you love me,
Be ok when I cut your call short
To be with friends.
They're like my own blood, skin, life.
You came along just now.

If you love me,
Know that silence says lots more;

If you love me,
You might take one step towards me,
But find that I took one step away from-

If you love me,
Treat me right.

Smile when I'm in a funk,
An understanding nod when you know I'm repenting,
Holding my hand and not my wrist,
Surprise me with that innate goodness only you have,
A single ticket for me to have my share of
cups of coffee,
and jazz-

If you love me,
Know that saying life without me is torment,
Is the best way
To make me try to cut loose.
When you insist it's true,
Know that I'm planning escape routes in my head already.

Know that to love me,
Means to let me be,
To let me breathe.

            And I'll love you the way I can,
            Without saying so,
            Like this-
            Through poetry,
            Or a good deed,
            Or a sudden hug,
            Or in the many other little things I do for you.
I'll love you as only I can,
I'll love you with a silent fire.

*image courtesy- Rockstar Diaries

PS- i know i've been away for ages. AGES! but was suffering from a multiple pronged case of pending assignments at college, procrastination + the notorious blogger's block. hoping to make a comeback with this post!

Monday, August 23, 2010

untitled-part II

[this was the first draft. the last post was the polished one. or vice versa. not sure anymore!]

My insides are cold

I'm snowed in

I'm freezing within

It's all black rain, black snow,

Dark and cold.


            I'm freezing in the dark

            Crying, all alone

            Where's that warm fire

            That kindled my hopes and made me feel whole?

            Where did I lose my soul?


I'm stumbling, walking on my own

Without you beside,

I'm pitched against the dark.

Could've screamed_

Should've yelled_

Must've told you_


Don't let go,

I was cold before you came,

I'm cold again where I can't see your sun.

I'm frozen without your smiles

Patch me up and save me

Wake me before I go crazy.


Hurts me that you didn't know

Who I am and how I was before you.

Say it's not over yet,

Please don't give up.

I won't beg for you to stay,

But know I care and remain.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

A doomed love

Like I always warn beforehand when I publish poems; this is just figments of idle imagination, so make no further assumption!


Unsaid words and unscreamed blames.

Silence loud as anything.

You wouldn't even look my way,

Yet I could feel my world falling apart.


[My world fell apart, like this]:


Everyone went on living,



            I was the lone change.

Nothing would make sense to me.

Sort of like the sense had left everything.

And everything became one whole cold meaningless entity.


I lost my fire,

I lost my soul,

Your absence

Sure has taken its toll.


Soulless, I wandered in the black rain.

Freezing, I stumbled in the black snow.

Don't remind me to cry

Don't remind me of my broken heart

It's hard enough, bad enough, sad enough

Without wasting tears on a doomed love.


I couldn't even cry;



With you gone,

Life's just about breathing in, breathing out.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

The kind of chaos I like

Well, I have always preferred chaos when the other choice is order. So very unlike my mom.
Anyway, this wasn't the kind of chaos I was about to talk about:

After waiting for a very long month [boy, was June long or what] I've finally gotten my first issue of my favorite magazine in the entire universe; The Tehelka by mail.

Oui, aaj se har hafta [i hope the postal deliveries don't snail it] Tehelka machega, Tehelka!
I know I'm being absurdly happy over a simple thing. Yday, drove everyone at home crazy with my mono-celebration when I got it in my hands. Honestly, I don't think I will see another magazine of its kind, ever. No other editorial board would have allowed such sincerity in bringing out the truth all the time. With everyone else, it's all about sensationalizing and bitching.

So here's to Tehelka and the symbolic crow that's eternally perched on top of its header-
May the truth always reign supreme and jhoot bole, kauva kaate!

Friday, July 9, 2010

The Post where i avoid the fluff and talk serious things that have been niggling me for some time

I usually don't blog about issues that leave people with sadness as to where the whole world is headed. Not this time though. Last week there was a horrible incident in Kerala that jolted us all.

On one hand you have the namesake teacher who deliberately and viciously insulted the Prophet in a question paper with words like "dog" etc.
On the other hand you have the worthy of emulation Prophet himself who never raised violence against his enemies even after they threw animal intestines on him while he was prostrating in prayer; toasted death threats his way all the time and even tried to work them out on a daily basis.
And you have some crazies who don't know the first thing about Islam and chop off this teacher's right hand as if they are doing the right thing in the name of Islam. You idiots! You are the reason why Islam has a bad name all across the world.

But thankfully, there are sane Muslim out there too. This teacher T J Joseph's sister called upon Solidarity; [a group of sane moderate Muslims,as i like to call 'em] for blood for her brother. And they did. =) They were at the hospital donating blood when required. While the crazies helped give Islam a bad name, these dudes were the saving grace. Phew!

This is what I had to pour out. Thanks for listening me out. Love ye all!

PS- working on a poem. But i just can't finish it!

Saturday, July 3, 2010

New Template =)

Yessirs and ma'ams, that's all I wanted to say. I still want to change the colors a bit if that's possible. Gotta call in the in-house geek! 'Cos blue's my color. Nothing else ever feels right or suits me.

Will be back with some poetry.

For now, ciao!

Friday, June 25, 2010

Teaser reviewing

The best movie of the year 2008 for me was Rock On!!
And the best movie of the year 2009 for me was Wake Up Sid!
What's it gonna be like this year?

Teaser season's back on track!

Let's get down to business and get the dud potential movies outta the way. Even better, let's vote for which could be the dumbest movie and make a dartboard of it. Cheesy smiles all across the room. =D

Tight competition's on to make it to the potentially crappiest movie list. I'm not even sure which one's worse.
Kajra re- I thought everyone had at least a tiny brain to KNOW that Himesh Reshammiya ain't hot property. Hell, he isn't ANY sort of property. I used to love Pooja Bhatt. Not anymore, people. Love died the moment she signed that idiot. He can't act. He can't compose music. He can't even get a single tune straight to croon. And you make him lead actor? I wouldn't have given him the hopes to make it to back-up dancer status in my movie [if I ever get around to it, ever]. And deserts? Is that Udita Goswami trying to pretend to look all mysterious and princessy? Ugh!!
Krantiveer- Deshdrohi level I'm thinking.
Milenge Milenge- I was barely a teen when I first heard of this project. Now I'm nowhere near my late teens even and NOW they're promoting the movie?? WTH?

Ladies and Gentlemen: presenting to you the very worst project of the millennia. Concept lifted [as always] by The-Man-Who-Just-Doesn't-Get-The-Hints-When-To-Stop; Priyadarsan. Who else? He's here with two movies and I wish God would be ok if I'm having all these very angry emotions at him. He's lifted from one of Malayalam's classy comic movies of all times and made it into a laughable [and not in a positive way] affair called Khatta Meetha. And I can't think of enough mean things to call him. Help?

Then the *&%&(())@@#%^^ lifts THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, PURE MOVIE I've seen in quite some time- "Children of Heaven" and makes it into "Bum Bum Bole". I wanna throw really heavy things at a wall right now. I'm just so annoyed! Why doesn't anyone ban him from making more movies? He used to be so talented and creative a decade back? Why's he so desperately pressing onto the Self-Destruct button? Why, oh why??

Was that tiring or what?
Now let's get on to the good movies list.
I Hate Luv Storys. No need for words! I'm not usually the cutesy-movie lover, but once in a while, I let myself be so. And this one deserves all my love. Yay for Imran and Sonam!
Aisha- whoa, have I been waiting for this one to hit the screens or what. Ever since I heard that a project on Jane Austen's vivacious Emma was in the talks and that the father-daighter duo of Anil-Sonam Kapoor would be taking up the plum roles; I was all HUZZAH! No Anil Kapoor to be seen, but I'm still hyper excited after watching the teaser. There's the indie movie prince Abhay Deol [more Huzzah!], Sonam Kapoor lookin' all superbly single and you-can't-get-me hotness oozing, good soundtrack used for teaser, great teaser itself!
There's Udaan that seems interesting from the promos and Lamha from acclaimed director Dholakia to look forward to too.
Almost forgot Once Upon A Time In Mumbai. Is it good? Bad? Can't be sure from the teasers as yet. Music seems pretty good though!
Tere Bin Laden- . This one promises to be hilarious, and teaser itself put me in stitches Everyone listen up, presenting the BEST TEASER OF THE SEASON. Loved it to bits, shreds and every tiny-teensy-weensy pieces of it. Palindrome of a sentence eh? The concept had me at hello. It looks the kind of movie which would nicely fit into the shelf along with Oye Lucky, Lucky Oye and the likes. Only, this one seems a political satire, while the former was a social satire. And the first song Ulloo Da Pattha was veryy peppy. Visuals were fantastic and I give kudos to [was it?] Ali Zafar guy [is it?] for his honest-to-goodness Ulloo da Pattha portrayal. But the biggest cheer is reserved for the Osama Bin Laden doppelganger.


Friday, June 18, 2010

Oh Alice!

 I'd been waiting for the release of "Alice in Wonderland" by Tim Burton ever since that first trailer last year. Many reasons for the anticipation:
  1. Directed by Tim Burton! 'nuf said.
  2. If the trailer looks this amazing; how much more amazing will the movie be? Obvious answer!
  3. Most important reason; Johnny Depp
  4. The 'muchness' factor, of course!

Johnny Depp is hot in whatever avatar he takes on. How the hell was I to know I'd get a crazy, absurdly massive crush on Mad Hatter? of all characters in the whole story??!

I don't have to gush about Tim Burton's direction since it's a universally known fact that he is sui generis. And all the three movies of his that I've watched include Johnny Depp. Edward Scissorhands, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and now Alice in Wonderland. Maybe I'm not the only one with infatuations…

Warning: Anyone who hasn't watched the movie, and thus detests spoilers ought to run now when there still is the opportunity. You stand warned: This post is spoiler-rich!

Synopsis: The movie deals with Alice post her trip to the what-she-calls "Wonderland". She's now all of 20 and about to be proposed by a lousy, spineless Lord. The girl has one, single recurring nightmare; she's falling down, and down and down a hole with no end…and the rest-as-you-know.

So was that trip to Wonderland just a dream? [or nightmare, if you please] Or reality? What if Alice returned to that place after a long time? As in, now?

General Gushing: The movie is story-telling at its best. Just anyone can re-tell a well known fairy-tale. But it takes a really good imagination to unravel the story's fabric and sew it in a new manner, starting from the basics. Lovely. If this movie were a human, I'd have proposed marriage to it by now. Of course, kidding. But just so that I can tell you how much I loved the movie in its entirety. The direction, script, cinematography, lighting, animation, casting…the Everythingness of it! Or should I say, the muchness!

Things I loved:
  • So at long last we get it. A reluctant heroine! All the movies we have been through so far, have had reluctant men transforming into heroes. And here comes along imaginative, reluctant, "I'm-not-that-Alice!"-Alice who finally realizes that this isn't a dream after all.
  • The reading in-between the lines done by the movie.
  • There are quite a lot of parallels drawn across people in her "real world" and "that other world". I'm not even that mean as to chalk 'em all out and ruin the fun for ya. Watch the movie closely and discover for yourself. Mind you, you won't hate doing that.
  • And you won't hate observing this movie closely because there are possibly hundreds of subtle hints, truths, facts strewn across it. The movie is wonderfully chiseled and very subtle in telling us things. Subtlety is one of its strong points.
  • The innocent touch of humor in almost every frame. It's not slapstick, though some may argue about Mad Hatter being Mad Hatter being slapstick. And I say, Not!
  • How could you not love the cast? From little Alice to the adult Alice, from Mad Hatter [miiiiiine!] to the Cheshire Cat, everyone's perfect for their role. Or maybe, that's because of the flexibility of all these actors. I didn't mention the Queens since they need separate gushing. Johnny Depp/ Mad Hatter would demand a whole post on my part; but I'll skip that.
  • Helen Bonham Carter is so honest to her character that at times you forget that she's actually quite a good-looking actress and not bulbous-headed dictator of a Queen as she's portraying. She was so good as Bellatrix in HP5 that I couldn't help hating her with all my heart. She is that good. Here, the way she simpers at Knave and frequently yells "Off with her/his/their head/s!!!" in that characteristic style, just blows me. Every time she does it, it blows me.
  • Anne Hathaway is the antithesis White Queen to her elder sister Red Queen Carter is just equally amazing. but while the Red Queen blows us with her freaky super ego and inferiority/ superiority complex, the White Queen makes us swoon with her sweetness, daintiness, innocence, goodness and a whole lot of positive  "–nesses". Even the way she walks. If it had been done by some one else, we had be saying "hypocrite". Here, you say, "awwwwww….she's so lovely and pure" Or maybe I'm just being partial to her because I was earlier on mind-blown by her acting prowess as displayed in the movie "Rachel Getting Married" [a must watch people].
  • The Futterwack!
  • Mad Hatter! Mad Hatter! Mad Hatter!! And on a different, less star-struck note, is Mad Hatter shown as a father-figure [but in reverse] to Alice as I think it is? I'll stick to this belief anyway. I don't need unnecessary competition from Alice!
  • I dig the British accent. And when they talk, all I can say is "MOAR, gimme MOAR!"
  • And how can I forget the scene where Hatter had to get all Captain Sparrrowesque and with just a little amount of smooth talk and swishing about, escapes execution by Red Queen, with Dormouse and all, very much unhurt. I couldn't help thinking- looks totally like a tribute to the loving memory of POTC!
  • So much more things I love and things I must have missed out to mention here. Forgive me.

For now, fairfarren y'all. Love ye!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Once Upon a time I was tagged..

Exactly, Bobby tagged me like, AGES back and I never got around to actually doing it. Now I've done it [phew!], and it ain't lookin' brief. It definitely looks more like an epic rather than a simple, fun tag. Whatev, here we go:

  1. I want to write a book and getitpublished. Yeah! No idea what I'll write about though.
  2. I like to sleep with my feet outside the bed. Call it acquired weirdness people, but during some recent phase of life I find that my feet hurt when they are IN bed.
  3. Sleep answering the phone and sleep deleting messages.
  4. I'm a scaredy-cat. I act strong but truth is, all it takes to give me the heebie-jeebies is the silliest tiny horror piece ever.
  5. A rejection phoebe. Most of my decisions regarding relationships come from this fear. I play safe. I just…can't…handle anyone saying anything that even remotely feels like rejection. It hurts like hell even after 10 years.
  6. The only reason why I'm still in orkut is the testimonial factor. And a certain Pinocchio who won't move to facebook. ;) [not yet!]
  7. Traveling.
  8. I wish I'd an elder brother.
  9. I'm all about jazz and indie music
  10. I………real……slow. freaks out family and friends every time. Without. Fail.
  11. I normally read my newspaper from back to front.
  12. One thing I have absolutely ZERO patience for is matters of heart. Of course, I'm sort of heartless bitch. No sympathy for heartbroken people, and when I have to console in the name of civilized society, I always overdo and make it look as if someone just died. Chances of me laughing at break ups are rather hiiiiiiiigh. If I were to be honest with you, I'd actually say, "s/he left? Good riddance!" tolja!
  13. ..and ZERO patience to cheating in exams when u could have studied. So DON'T you dare think I'm cool with you cheating. It's massively uncool.
  14. can't smile like normal people do. It always looks like a vampire fighting his urge to fly and murder [the photographer in this case]. I'm cool to smiling with friends for camera, but otherwise…
  15. Have given up swooning at guys unlike the rest of girls. There's so much more to do!
  16. I fantasize about what The Perfect Birthday Gifts should be.
  17. I've this thing for Darcy and Sirius Black. No, no Cullens though they're freakin' beautiful.
  18. I wish I could just live single my whole life. [wishful thinking, yeah, I know]. [and I guess I just repeated myself in the same tag]
  19. Two places and cultures I'm currently crazy about are Dilli and South Korea.
  20. Kind of on the un-feminine side. Yep, hates jewellery, fancy family events, can't stand love-sick people OR love-sick movies/ TV dramas etc etc. Didn't enjoy Twilight series once the initial attraction wore out.
  21. I wish to one day be a script writer. At least write one, absolutely beautiful script. The kind that India is yet to see. Yip, great ambitions bottled up in here!
  22. I mostly love to give up on family functions whenever possible because (i) almost everyone assembled is a hypocrite. (ii and most important) their lives revolve around marriages, upcoming marriages, and people who're yet to get married- which includes yours truly. And I can't stand to smile when I'd rather be swearing. Cousins are fun. Distant aunts et al suck!
  23. I oscillate between extremes. So much for being a supposedly balanced Libran!
  24. BTW, I don't believe in any sort of superstitious stuff. Though I think cracking knuckles to ward off "evil eye" is kinda cool!
  25. I seem to like kid stuff MORE than my kid sister even! Gah!

I'm sure that ONCE I've posted it, I'll remember a 100 other things I could've added. Those who liked the post ought to do it! No pressures, and oui, I'm breaking the tag-ritual.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Things that caught my eye-

- while I was trippin' about with classmates in the capital city, when I was doing my internship and bleh.

The tree-top house behind the hostel where we stayed during internship. Wheee! I'm kinda a scaredy kitteh, so I stayed back and snapped pictures of the brave ones instead.

Crow makes for a more picturesque shot-somehow

Kovalam beach- evening- drizzling in the backdrop-and there were ice creams to go with the whole awesomeness.

Say it's pretty!

I wish I had photophopped that guy outta the pic- but too lazy. Anyways, I liked this sculpture like- a lot. Day dreamy,very.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Comback #999999111101 or something

Lord, do I make the highest number of comebacks or what? Anyway, here's what's been keeping me busy for the last 2 months: a departmental tour that lasted a week, internship in a no-internet zone for 3 weeks and then the bane of all students: The exams.

But now everything's over!!!!! I'm freeeeeeeeeee! and hold your breath, here it comes: I'm back!!!!!!!!!! [I can almost read the thoughts on the reader's mind: yeah, back again! and then everyone rolls their eyes at me]

Planning an avalanche of posts, so this post is more like a warning prior to the avalanche.

And have I told you? I love ye all! I've taken 4 books from library, and hopes to perform a much required CPR on my other blog. I know it's probably too late, but perhaps a miracle will help?

*Cheers  \m/

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Thanks to you...

Thanks to you,
There is a lot of music I can't
Listen to happily anymore.

That was the way it was for quite some time after graduation. I couldn't listen to any of the music we sang and shared during those three years.
So, there was this whole folder worth of music from that period that I couldn't listen to without having to fight the urge to just run away.

Away as in anywhere.

I couldn't move on if I clung to memories.
And I couldn't listen to several of my favorites without getting all whimsical and moony.

So, now there is this new me who's been shaping up over the past year who is always experimenting with the new genres and styles.
And it has done me good. Real good!
I discovered
  • Death Cab For Cutie,
  • Carolina Liar,
  • Sondre Lerche,
  • Fray,
  • Emma Lee,
  • Iron& Wine,
  • Sara Bareilles,
  • Ryuichi Sakamoto,
  • M.I.A [yeah, I know she's been around like for ages, but I had never checked her out earlier. And man, what a costly mistake! She's awesome!]
  • Joss Stone [but I haven't gotten the hang of her yet. Any help?]
  • Katie Melua
  • And I'm very much and sincerely, in love with Malayalam folk songs. I guess the folk-crossover-rock band "Avial" did it for me.
  • Kings of Leon
  • Elisa
  • Azure Ray
  • Dixie Chicks had made a great impression on me when they'd come out yelling anti-war and anti-Bush and were boo-ed for that since everyone was pro Bush back then. They are not just any random bimbos. Na ha. And their music? I'd never really cared for country. Until I checked these ladies out. They are sooooooo good at this!

And a helluva lot much more. But the thing is, I'm showing a definite leaning towards mellower stuff. That's because I'm rooting for the Jazz and Indie camp, of course. But can anyone please yank me back to the Rock camp. I'm dying to return to the time when I was all about head bangin'. =)

*Thanks to my beautiful, out-of-this-world amazing 7 friends and all the other great friendships I've been carrying with me since my Brennen days. I love you all soooooo much that my heart breaks. In a good way. =)

Saturday, May 1, 2010

When I was at my geek-awesome mode [yes, there IS such a mode]

Apologies for taking soooooo long in a blog update. Was away from internet, was away from home. Spent a week in a new city [specifically speaking, 12 hours or so away by train] as part of field trip, spent most of that time visiting libraries. Yeah well, you thought library and information science courses would be tedious and geeky. But you didn't realize there were so many uber cool and rad libraries in one city itself right?

BUTTING IN BETWEEN: Lordy, if I say I got a tan from there, that'd be an understatement. I got practically sun-burnt! No gorgeous bronzed look for me. I just look like my favorite comic-cameo star at the moment.

 ok... maybe I was exaggerating a leeeetle bit. = p

AND BACK TO WHAT I'M SAYING: Trivandrum rocks for all the right reasons for me honey.

The cleanliness of the city, the i-don't-give-a-damn-about-you-even-if-you-are-weird attitude of the people; parks; fantastic architecture of most of the buildings and structures I came across; finally being able to visit one of my favorite family friends after years; and of course- at the expense of a remark that will make me look absurdly like a geek- I loved most of the libraries I visited while I was there.
But the best were- in order of their awesomeness for me-
Numero uno is IIITMK. Freakin' awesome! While we were there, listening to everything the head told us on the library, the trainee blogged about it right then and there. Talk about live blogging!
Kerala Legislative Library. Probably the library which really makes you strain your brain cells a lot. The legislators call you up for data that will help back up their arguments in the legislative assembly all the time. Which means you gotta find both pros and cons of same topic for both the opposition and ruling party. You gotta feed them with the right kind of info if you don't want to face upset legislators- which I'm pretty sure can be scary.
CDS library which specializes in research of Economics. And man, do they have the best landscape and architecture or what?!! Laurie Baker is the coolest architect when it comes to economizing resources. Way cool.
University of Kerala Library is hot property too. Though it ain't looking so very hot at the moment thanks to the huge scale renovation going on. And that's where my mom's best friend works. =)

I loved staying with my batch mates and friends at a hostel for a week. Yelling at each other while taking showers over the cubicles, moaning about the food, doing some reckless, idiotic shopping for pipes and blowing them in the middle of the town and being pleased [and a tad sad] that no one gives a hoot that you and your girlfriend are over 20 and blowing pipes.
I loved the last night of the trip where we stayed up all night playing antakshari and the afternoon I spent shopping with my partner-in-craziness Shesly in Kanyakumari. Like any trip, there were fun parts and lousy parts. And some fun-cum-lousy parts. Like the Kovalam beach thing we did in the middle of a drizzle. Gah. Would've been fun if I hadn't been wearing one of my favorite clothes and my favorite footwear-that-shouldn't-be-wet-too-much.  In the end of all the sand and sea, I emerge from the beach complete with very black-looking bare feet- courtesy the sand. Urgh. Definitely not my idea of fun.

Anyways, to cut all of it short, I'm off for internship, which means- more of less online presence. Which is exactly why I'm planning some posts to be published while I'm away so you guys won't totally forget me. =|


PS- which reminds me, I'm giving out my real name from now on since too many rellys read my blog anyway. No privacy people. :\ damn. But I'd prefer if you just call me Raphael, since that's the name I had name myself had I had the opportunity. Yes, that's the cue to say "weeeeeeiiiiiiiird" and close this page. Ciao for now everyone!

PPS- Or shouldn't I?

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Of heartbreaks and the Heartless

For some, Heartless may remind them of that really popular number by Kanye West, plus the equally amazing Fray cover and makes-me-wanna-swoon cover by Kris Allen.
But, I meant Heartless as in, me. All me.

Last week or the previous one- not sure when; I find it hard to track which day I'm breathing in; anyway, some time back, there was a flurry of break ups, anticipated break ups and all. Good ol' Eddie [Edward] got dumped by his girlfriend. Serves him right, maybe now he'll try to remain single for at least 7 whole days, ha! Then, the same day another friend buzzed about what looked like his break-up related misery. But later it turns out he wasn't even dating in the first place to have been dumped. Or so he says.
Anyhoo, this love is takin' its toll on me.

I just can't stand listening to break ups without laughing at inappropriate grave parts of the "heart-rending" story. When I'm forced to console someone with love failure, I end up overdoing the consoling part, making it seem like someone died.
I never can empathize much with a dumpee. You took the risk and fell in love; you should have been ready for this consequence too! In short, I'm what people call Heartless, all cold-logic, mean. But I'm what I call, self-preserving and practical.


So, don't I ever feel love? Yeah sure, I fall in love, crush and burn every other day. But that's all. All you have to do is show an ion of interest back, and I skitter to the remotest planet possible. Why?
Because I have least possible faith in myself and don't think it possible that I might actually be likeable to people other than friends.But then there are times when I think, hey, I'm too good to be anyone's girl!

I just have crushes on people. Ranging from Sirius Black and Darcy to Keira Knightley. Yes, even Keira. She tops my list of straight, same-sex crushes.

I'm mostly a "So What" and "I Will Survive" kind of person, though thanks to my love for indie and jazz music, I find I'm turning into quite the mellow, laidback romantic.

But right now?
I'm in a very dreamy state thanks to a South Korean novel "Coffee Prince" and the hit drama which followed [same name].
I don't and can't read Korean. I'm reading an English translation of the book and have watched a couple o' episodes of the drama which was loosely translated off the book.
End of Pause.

Clickie here in case you had like to check it out. It unintentionally raises a lot of questions as regards homosexuality, which I loved about it. Apart from the unique love story line.
For now I have succeeded in getting dahlings Gilsha and Remya interested in the story.

And here's something I penned down when I was in a mellow and dejected mood. [sure, the 2 emotions can blend together]

Even if I walk away,
Even if I don't turn back,
Even if didn't smile
Or look your way.

Please don't leave.

I'm scared of a lot of things,
About myself,
About you,
About relationships.
Things that make me run away
Every time I fall for you,
Again and again.

So stay.
Hold me tight,
Lock your fingers with mine.
Pull me back
No matter how hard I may try to run.

It's still in the draft mode, so grin and bear.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

French Connection

All thanks and love to Vaika for turning my otherwise possibly mundane Sunday into a much, much nicer affair.


Because, the darling came home with her current classmates, plus our ex-senior from college, PLUS his cousin. So basically, a car with 6 hep people pulled in front of my place this morning. What's the big deal?

Well, the deal is that her classmates are not Indian. The 3 gorgeous ladies are exchange students from France. In short, veryyyyyyy cool! I'm not even able to decide whom I liked better- Maud? Alice? Or Suzanne? Though they are so alien to Indian culture and everything- I don't think our usual Indian guests could have been this nice, sweet and easy to talk with.


Reason why they dropped in at my place is the French Connection. I live kinda close to Mahe- which by the way, was a colony of the French and still has some traces of French culture lingering all over the place. It's not as explicitly obvious about its French Connection as Pondicherry is. But still, the exotic-ness is always in the air. Though not so visible and is mostly limited to shops and streets with French names.


They loved the sweet dishes mom had prepared [with just the teensiest bit of assistance thrown in by me]. Unfortunately sweetheart Vaika had to grin and bear it. She HATES sweetness. Ok, Hate is too strong a word. More like, can't handle, can't stand. We had opted out spicy dishes since Alice, Maud and Suzanne may not like the strong spicy stuff.


After the food, some snaps and general chat on how they feel and what they like about Kerala, do they watch Indian movies? [yes- last one was MNIK and it was ok-dokey. They're still trying to get the subbed version of Water [or was it Fire?] and no luck with that.

 So if you happen to know a link or anything that might help, gimme a shout! I'd to turn on comment moderation because of incessant, irritating spam. Looks like the spam king is out to get me. Aaaaaaargh.


Within the one hour or so that they were here, and I'm already in love with all three of them. I guess it's the French charm.


Hope they had a good time altogether in India!

Thursday, March 4, 2010


Especially when the people who are being so outrageously weird like you happen to be best friends. Ha! This monday yours truly and friends Vinaya, Vaikhari, Namitha and Prajisha strutted around our old college as part of a tiny meet-up. Was worth the wacked-out lie I had to dish out to my teacher. Totally worth it. =)
Juniors were real sweet on seeing us back, with our ice lollies in hand. And when you are crazy, and a guy you know from old times comments that you lot haven't matured EVEN after graduating [points at the ice lollies] - you smile and nod approvingly- "Yeah! we are immature, weird and we love the fact!"

Weirdness part II:
I think I'm the only person who has "Pray for me brother" of A R Rahman as ringtone. I think I'm the only one who's noticed that it's prelude makes for "The Perfect Ringtone Ever". [sure, i was awfully arrogant]. But all these notions got drowned when I heard my cousin's phone ring. Yeah, you already guessed it- he's got "Pray for me brother" as ringtone too! freaky-freaky ditto!

Must say- it is such a gorgeous song guys. Try using it as ringtone and I'm pretty sure you won't want to change it-ever. I tried, but here I am, still using the same ringtone as 8 months back. { with minor exceptions of "pichle saat dino mein" from "Rock On!!" for the Brennen buddies and a brother and "That's not my Name!" from Ting Tings for the best friends}

Weirdness Part III:
Listened to classmate J relate her love story.Strong ol' Raphael turned into a nonsensical mess of mush and goo. I usually am pretty cold and detached and even downright insulting to love stories, but this one was so sweet and true.... Youch!
I thought she had managed to melt the ice in me with that story of hers. Which was really impressive by the way.
The sugar-effect clung to me for just 2 hours. Phew! I'm back to being happily single and anti-love and all that jazz people! Doncha guys love me for that?

right, ciao for now.

PS- Uber huge hugs and kisses to Vaika for adding one more reader to my blog. Love ye sweet Vaiks! and warm welcome to you too- silent-reader-from-MGU. Thanks for the silent support. Much appreciate it.


Friday, February 26, 2010


If unreasonable dislike is prejudice,
What is unreasonable like?

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Lost... and still lost.

Of all the things I lost,
I miss these the most.


  1. The friend I lost to misunderstandings. This is actually a 3 month old post I had drafted. So the fifth thing is no longer valid. I made up with my buddy after 4 years of silence and misunderstandings. Phew! You ought to know broken and unsettled relationships are something I avoid like the plague. So cheers to myself on this victory!
  2. My college days as under-grad. Those were the days. Irresponsible, weirdness and spontaneity at its best. Kya din the! Kya zamaana tha! Everyone from Brennen I was friends with were of the same wavelength and eerily similar mind sets as me. In that sense, life sort of sucks at the moment.
  3. THE poetry book. The one with all manuscript poems of mine; Lost. I'd be insane to hope it would somehow, miraculously land back into my hands. :(
  4. KBS!! The Korean Broadcasting Service. The channel which blew my mind and forever changed my idea about South Korea. It was the only thing worth watching on my stingy Doordarshan DTH set. Last year March, they removed the channel 'cos apparently they couldn't pay the contractual fees because of the financial crisis. Daaaaammnnnnnnnn!! Don't they know there are at least 500 crazy nuts like myself in India who love everything about South Korea now thanks to KBS? Which other country has such an admirable number of hotties, great movies and tv shows and amazing music whcih gets lifted by the likes of Pritam? If you can hear me now, South Koreans, PLEAAAAAAASE make KBS come back on my telly!!!
  5. My black beaded bracelet- Can't decide which one I miss most. KBS? or the black bead bracelet which has remained on my mind so much especially since I haven't found another of it's kind. Here's snap I took ages before I lost it.
And here's for everyone's notice- If anyone can find me the very same kind of bracelet- I'm yours sir [or ma'am!]. I'll be yours forever, no strings attached; signed, sealed, delivered, totally yours! With all the annoying habits of mine, I'm yours for life. ok, if that sounds too daunting, at least this Valentine. Buy me that very bracelet people, I'm desperate!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Back and it's trailer time!

did intend what I wrote in last post.>
Back from my long-period of enforced internet-abstinence. And it feels real good!

It was fun; and ironic to see that the 2 lines I typed in last, attracted 7 comments. That post must have been exceptionally good if it made Jindal-ji comment. He rarely ever does! Apart from that, new readers!! Warm, huuuuge welcome to Pan. I will take up your advice on shit-blogging. Thank you. Another unexpected comment was a bit of philosophy from some porn site. Whoa! Plus lots of love from my darling blogging-neighbors.

But the funniest thing of all was, none of you deduced my actual meaning behind the lines. I was in fact, talking about how I sometimes have to sit through lectures where everything they say is so obvious and the doubts my classmates ask is even more obvious-- so much that I never utter a word in some classes! Not because I'm a dunce [hardly that], but because I already can see 10 miles ahead of what is being taught. I'm not being self-flattering, but it feels weird when I have nothing to say because I have no doubts and everything is clear as crystal to me already. Sigh..

On the other side, let's get on to more pressing topics- Trailer reviews!!!
Veer- From the first sight on my instincts told me this-is-so-going-to-crash-and-burn at the BO. I was right. And the heroine is major dud. The only scene where I thought her pretty was where she sheds a tear in the promo. Gah!
Dulha Mil Gaya- I definitely can't understand what's going on in this trailer, sorry.
Bolo Raam- The lead guy looks stoned through most of the trailer. But the concept seemed interesting..

Show Time [or whatever the name was]- Tacky movie name, scenes seem ripped straight from Matrix or Krrish even. Vivek Oberoi ain't a real asset nowadays. In fact, only plus point I see is that it's an Abbas-Mustan movie.
3 Patti- I thought the days where unnecessary item numbers ruled the screen were over. No????????????? I hate vulgarity of every kind. And this movie has me feeling sick.

My Name is Khan- obviously! Kajol looks Gorgeous with a capital G! Such pretty eyes! Sheesh, she will always remain my favorite actress.
Rann- Very timely and much debated topic- mainstream media and the way it keeps stooping to new lows in the name of TRPs. I just wish RGV could have added some light bulbs here and there. And Gul Panag would have made an amazing Alice Cullen with her pixie hair. =)
Karthik Calling Karthik- First, I'm interested. Then, not so much.. then, back to interested mode. I'm not yet sure if I really am interested in this movie or not. The music's real peppy [Uff Teri Ada], pepper-mint kind [Hey Na]. But the lead pair doesn't seem to have any chemistry going on between them. They seem real detached and awkward.. And for another thing, my interest in anything Deepika Padukone is at an all-time low. All her fault! The only reason I'm interested in this movie is 'cos of my faith in everything Farhan Akhtar. Hey, but idea seems cool. I'll give you that.
Rajneeti- At the moment, this is the movie I'm really looking forward to. Looks good, and my instincts tell me it's going to be worth watching out for.
Athithi Tum Kab Jaoge- My instincts tell me just one thing- Hilarious! Very Very interesting trailer. Tries to spook you before having you crash back down to earth. Unwelcome guests make for a good movie watch, the trailer has me believe. And I take the bait.
Ishqiya- Amazing music. Interesting storyline possibly. I'm in!
Striker- Because I've always liked Siddharth!

Friday, January 15, 2010

You ask, "Why the silence?"
I say, "What do I speak about when everything is already obvious?"

Saturday, January 2, 2010

2009- The year that rocked


Graduated with flying colors, stepped into post graduation. Chose a stream the majority of my friends and family disapproved.

Made friends, strengthened relationships with old ones, got de-addicted to one crush, got crushed on something new. Found my soul-twin. Best friends and myself- all move on to new paths.

Read loads of books, watched several real-good movies, discovered quite a wide range of amazing music.
Had cable tv for 4 months [yeah, aside those months-I'm living sans-cable tv life] during which fell in love with "So You Think You Can Dance". and "90210" and many other series.

Launched a new blog. Learnt driving cars. Photograph collection of friends crossed the 5000 mark. =)

Got my first phone, about to celebrate the first b'day of it!

Went on a  brother-sister road trip.

Had my 21st birthday, which I didn't make a big deal of.  Had the second bloggiversary.

Friends got married, another had her first baby, I remain SINGLE and EXTREMELY HAPPY for that reason! Some of my best girl-friends go double. ;)

Might do a post on the best movies, books and music I came across in 2009 in next post.
'Til then, have fun, live, laugh and make others laugh.

Happy new year!!!!!