Sunday, February 8, 2009

Not meant to be read, not meant to be seen

This one is just about giving vent. Otherwise I might just suffocate.
And since I'm entirely sure that the people concerned with this issue are NEVER going to read my blog, I don't have to worry about what they will think either. This is better this way.

About that debate thing. And how I spoilt it all up. What was the reason?
Supri insists that I was on empty stomach and that was why.
Nay, I disagree. I could go and ace a test on an empty stomach [if i wanted to, that is].
I was entirely stressed and I wasn't prepared well enough. and we had been waiting hours at a stretch. But that reason seems unreasonable as my debate partner had been waiting just as much.
Whatever the reason, one week or more after that and I'm still feeling bad, ashamed, depressed and most of all--guilty.
I let down a lot of expectations. We could have actually won that competition. As easy as anything. If I hadn't muddled it all up. Well, my friend was quite perfect. But I fumbled and didn't fire back properly and forgot how much good I'd been at this and even reached the finals last year........before THAT controversy and we couldn't make it as the winners.

Anyways, what's most important is that I haven't gotten over it, even though my team mate was so generous and forgiving. Crap! I can't help feeling ashamed for that fiasco.

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