To you,
With loathing and
Wishful thinking
(Since I'll probably never say this aloud).
Time goes so slowly by
When I'm by your side.
And I just can't wait
for the moments together
to get over.
Every word you say is
-trash
Every thought of yours
-better off unsaid
And every single deed of yours
-makes you more tiresome for me.
Why did you have to happen to me?
Why you in my life?
The questions in my head
Annoy me like you.
Sick and tired of your faking
All I want is to stay away from your crazy.
What's the use of those smiles,
When every next word of yours is guaranteed to be lies.
And when I see you be fake nice again,
I want the world to stop doing anything else...
And throw things at you.
You lie,
Don't even blink an eye,
Twist your words,
And not so much of guilt or regret in anyway.
Nothing about you works
the right way round.
You'd chat, lie, be mean
if that got you a win.
But when I try to bite back,
Not fight back,
Curb the bad feelings towards you?
There you come shuffling in,
with all that contagious negative vibes in tow-
So immense they could ruin a whole continent
So vile that I'm scared by mere proximity
So manipulative that I want to scream and
want the world to know the truth of you.
So false, it's bizarre no one notices.
I look at you,
and all I can think is
-bitchface.
Doesn't matter what others think you are,
I know you for what you are-
and that's:
Awful through-and-through
Shame to my gender,
Hypocrite,
Why, no principles whatsoever.
She thought you're just silly,
He thinks you're not much,
They think you're just a random normal somebody,
But only I can see that you're my personal nightmare-come-to-life.
What've you done to me,
Messing up a good girl's soul
Somehow trying to make me mean like you.
And I never hated on anyone,
Never ever badmouthed even the foulest person I knew.
But you turned things round,
Screwed my good life.
All I want is away from your drama
Exit-Stage-Left.
Anyaseyo all! (that's hello in Korean, duh. I just wanted to start off on a random and different note)
So! A post has been overdue and I've been frikkin' busy what with having the unique luck of being assigned to two departments in the same month. Which means, I'm working ALL the time since I gotta do the stuff in THIS department, and by the time I'm tired, it's lunch and post-lunch, work for the next department. Yay, life can be exhausting AND fun all at once. So obviously I like it when I'm working, ergo-no complaints. BUT! that also by default means that NO SLACK TIME for poor me. Draw in a sad face of me while you're at it.
Mostly, this post is a filler and to brace you for the next post, which is NOT gonna be an easy read. Why? I'm usually a happy-go-lucky person, never badmouths even the meanest kid 'round the block and generally my posts resonate with the wonderful things I'm going through. You can ignore the "bad day" posts of mine since they're rare and sad. Anyway, the next post is like- whaddayacallems?- urban poetry?
No rhyme to the poem, but lotsa reason.
It's about one of the only two persons I hate loathe on this world. That's intense and I didn't really want to blog about the way I'm feeling (nay,repressing) about the darkness emanated by said person. But then I realized, dayum, if I don't vent about it, I might die suffocated by all the bad thoughts and it's always better to share everything here. Where else could I do that?
To quote a drama,
"Share if it's good news, so that the happiness multiplies.
Share if it's bad news, so that the hurt/pain can be halved/lessened."
True that!
EDIT- I decided after posting this and ruminating quite a bit, that hating on someone no matter how hateful, just brings me down to their level. Not very helpful. So cheer me on about my new decision to just post the next post and I'mma try to get over the bad feelings and stay neutral (like my darling Riff told me to, yday) regarding everything hateful. Not gonna exert myself over something awful anymore people!
The good thing about procrastinating when you ought to be doing that tag is that, someone else also tags you and so can just just do 2 tags in one. Haha! or maybe not.
Anyway, I got tagged by the friendly neighborhood bloggies Sujana and Rahul. Thank you for the tag! Mucho gracias really! Cos I sincerely believe that there's nothing like a classy tag to bring lazy bloggers like me back to back. Yo!
Laying out the rules for anyone who still hasn't come across them. Improbable as that sounds though..
Here!
The rules are-
Rule#1: Put the rules on your blog.
Rule#2: Every person tagged should tell 11 things about themselves, answer the 11 questions asked by the one that tagged you, tag 11 other people and ask them 11 different questions.
Rule#3: Let the people whom you tagged know you've done so.
Rule#4: Don't tag anyone who's been tagged before.
Rule#5: Really do tag 11 others, don't go all ''if you want to take this tag''
11 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME
Now this is a bit more tough than it seems cos of all the "tell me random things about you" tags I've done in the past. But I guess everyone else has been through that too?
I worry that wearing sandals that are larger than my feet will cause em to grow enough to be fit for the sandals. I don't know where I got that idea from, but it sure stuck on. Funnier is that I wear my uncle's old hawaii slippers around my hostel though, which are reaaally too big for me. Why despite the fear of feet growing big? Laziness my love. Too lazy to go out and buy another pair.
"Everyone's nice, until proven otherwise". Pretty much what I prefer to think of the rest of the world. That's a more comfortable way to live life cos it means, for me, there are only 2 people in my world that I actually can't stand. Everyone else is really nice, and I'm ok with letting them all have more than ten flaws to them. =)
Might as well spread the motto to the rest of you all.Try living this way! =)
I'm the ultimate book-crazy and book-snob and book-happy person out there, well, at least according to me! Working at a library means I get my hands on all sorts of amazing paperbacks, hardbacks, and all sorts of heavenliness that comes in the shape of books. I LUFF my job!
My phone and I don't get along really well. I use it only when the need comes for music or communication. Hate having to hold a phone when I'd rather not. Which also means I've missed out hundreds of important calls and had One Angry Mom call up my colleagues or friends cos she couldn't get through to me, and yell that "just throw the phone away if you won't keep it around!!" In fact, most of my mom calls are fielded by my friends, come to think of it!
I hate having to attend weddings on principle. But recently, I've been to weddings that I really wanted to be at, and loved being there too. =) But still, I hate weddings. So much so that I wish I can just run away with the guy, his immediate family, my family and my friends and have a simple function. I'm the kind who thinks it's a waste of a whole lot of money which could otherwise be spent on getting me a Samsung Galaxy Tab. Just you wait till I actually get married!
Might've mentioned this plenty times, but-i LOVE brothers. (Cos I don't have one? Ain't that obvious?)I'm a sucker for brothers. Which means if you came up to me and said "I'm your brother", I'd fall flat, splat and do anything for you even if you broke my heart thrice and some more. True story.
And I love my sister to bits. She's my faux-kid to play around with, sneaky-partner-in-crime, best friend and so much more. Everyone says I ruined her for life by making her addicted to South Korean pop culture like me, but really, she fell for the deal all on her own. I swear!
Everyone hereabout already know my love and madness and obsessive relationship with South Korean music, dramas, movies and pop culture. This mention was just for the new readers. =) I can even speak and understand quite a lot of Hangul (Korean) these days. Sashiriya! (It's true!)
It wasn't always like this, but nowadays I need to have the right mood to watch movies and eat chocolates. Not happy with this change. =(
I'm inherently unceremonious about everything. Almost everything anyway. Must have something to do with my being a leftie.
I love checking out couture. Especially Autumn/Winter and Spring/Summer collections. Though I avoid the strictly summer-only collections like the plague. Way too much of skin instead of pretty clothes always annoys me with its absurdity.
AN EXTRA- I tend to malapropise and mix up words a lot. One of my friends tell me that she always has to guess out what I mean, cos what I speak usually sounds too post-modern and weird. Lol. But this is only in the case of my mother tongue. I'm smoother when I'm talking in English.
And one more- I dress sloppy all the time to the point that mom wonders maybe God had planned me to be a boy but somehow things ended up with me being born a girl.
SUJANA'S 11 QUESTIONS:
1) What's your favorite place?
Hmm, where I did my undergrad-Brennen college? Or that vacation retreat of my uncle's? oh well, both!
2) If you had to marry a celebrity, who would it be?
Rahul Bose! or Arundhati Roy. And there's this really cool rocker-celeb Korean out there from
3) Do you want a twin?
Nooo!!!!!!!! I'm fine by me. I did want one for sometime back when I was a kid though. But I guess i twin brother would have been cool. =)
4) How long is your oldest friendship?
Since I was a wee-baby? I got all my long-lost neighborhood buddies back, thanks to Orkut and dearest Facebook. Thank ye, lords of Social Media!
5) What's your greatest achievement?
If I can make a friend/person look up to me, If I can make just anyone happy- I'd take that to be a big achievement. =)
6) If you could only talk to one person for the rest of your life, who would it be?
There's this whole herd of best friends I'd want to spend my life with. There's Dope, my Rock, Ms Sunshine, Sister, Twin (though we've been really uncommunicative nowadays), Khe, China, my own Sassy Girl, The Good Girl, the Rocker, the BrothersTwo, Peepi, MotorMouth, and a whole lot of others I can't find nicknames for for now. But right now? It's Dope Proper.
But if you asked me the song for life- i have just one answer-
Rest-Standing Egg.
7) Socks and sandals- yes or no?
Never!
8) Choose your power: Mind reading or invisibility?
Mind reading a hundred thousand times over!
9) What's your method of transportation?
Pillion riding on bikes with girlfriends. =)
10) Favorite book?
Why not just kill me?Say just one???
11) Facebook, twitter or neither? Why? Where's the "both" option? But I treat my Fb like my Twitter anyway.
RAHUL'S 11 QUESTIONS:
What are you passionate about?
Words, music and good friends. And fun Korean dramas. =)
Cinema and politics- what do they mean for you?
Good cinema can go a long way in strengthening innate goodness in people and I love watching good movies; and politics? I want to find at least ONE politician who has actively worked for the mass before I die.
One good thing you want to happen in India, for people – Long term?
I want Indians to stop being hypocrites and do the good things you want to see in the world instead of just talking about change.
One good thing you want to happen for yourself – Long term?
I want to feel confident about myself. All the time. Period.
One good thing you want to happen for yourself – Short term?
Find a well-earning permanent job stat.
A frank thing you want to say about one of the bloggers here?
I want to see Mohua blogging again and my Pretty Wanderer to blog more =)
Belief in God?
Yup. Wholeheartedly believes in monotheism.
One thing you would surely do to uplift this poor country?
Not splurge on anything. When I hear so-and-so spend more than sane on such-and-such clothes, hair, wedding etc, I feel horrid thinking of the less privileged who could have gained something more important from all that money.
Plus I had like to make charity every month once I have a job that pays well unlike this intern thing.
One secret about you?
Just one? =)
Do you hold any regrets in your life?
That I can't sue my bastard of an ex Dept Head . That I couldn't confess a whole lot of things to people that mattered and now it's too late.
Adventure if any in life…lets count
Getting lost in the city all alone
Girl trips. They always end up becoming adventures =D
MY 11 taggedies (short for tagged buddies- much too corny, and I accept that accusation with bowed head)
Mallu:- Proper noun. Slightly derogatory term used for Malayalis aka Keralites who display behavior said to be characteristic of their community. A typical Mallu will
be very laidback, and thus peace-loving and detests violence most of the time. Being lazy, we will-
jump in at every opportunity which claims to make big money easily,
have an opinion about everything- about that girl next door who flirts too much, that auto driver who charges more and more every next time, about social media, USA's foreign policy, Manmohan Singh, in short- EVERYTHING. Hell, even that unemployed bum has an opinion about why no one's doing anything about global climate change.
We Mallus are worldly, well-read (at least 95% are), intellectuals, or pretend-intellectuals (but even they will know all the facts and are updated on the news and goings-around) and sometimes even other-worldly (might as well make some money off other-worldliness while we are at it!)
There's a running joke about how there will be a Mallu in every nook and corner of the Earth. (You've definitely heard the joke of how when Neil Armstrong landed on Moon and saw that there was this Mallu running a tea-shop there,right?)
We LOVE hartals. Whether we support the cause or not is an entirely different thing. Which is why, come every other unknown political party who claims to have been offended by so-and-so or such-and-such situation and declares strike or hartal- we CELEBRATE them. We cheer each other with "Happy Hartal!/ Hartal days are back again!" texts. No, I swear this is true. I can personally vouch for this being 100% reality, cos I celebrate along too! Back in school days, we'd students strikes practically every other day. Ergo, we'd go to school, get taught for a period or so before the school gave in to the student-strike that came strutting in from the other school next door. Then us girls would all hang around our empty classrooms, schoolground, munching away happily on snacks and yummy lunches, before finally going home in the best of happy moods. Tee hee! So you understand that protests are pretty much in-built into the Mallu system.
Upset about the grades? Protest march. Teacher being partial to some student. Gherao him. Exam papers may have been leaked? Boycott college for days. You want an upgrade on paycheck? Strike! Pissy with the govt? Strike! Hartal!
This poster is pro-hartal and reads "Yay Hartal! Hartal wishes to all". I know, we're a crazy fun lot
And this last characteristic brings me to the topic. By now you've a fair idea of what to expect from a Mallu and the fact that I'm a Mallu too. =D
And like at least some of my readers know by now, I'm working at IIM-Kozhikode currently. Yes yes, thanks for the congrats and thumps on my back and everything. It's amazing and lotsa fun working there too. But! The one drawback of it all is that I have to work 9-5.30 Monday through Saturday. Which means I get just one measly holiday a week. Barely, hardly, not at all enough.
So?
I'm reduced to waiting for general holidays which don't happen much. The only other alternative where we get holidays would be when there're vehicle strikes, hartals or the sort happening and you can't make it to work.
And me being me, always ends my prayers these days like this, "God, please let a hartal happen on Saturday or Monday so I can have that extra day off."
Absurd you thinketh? Well, God sure did answer my prayers last week. Only that it was limited to that particular municipal corporation my hostel is in and which meant, yeah I got my day off thank-you-so-much, but that the IIM administration marked it as leave taken by me since there was no hartal as such where IIM was. Dang! So this week around, I prayed more specifically. "Dear God, please give me a hartal more than six hours".This time around too God was gracious enough to answer my prayer. Only, I got a Hartal in my district alone. IIM will be able to function anyways and everyone else will turn up for work. All but me. =( Which obviously means they'll once again mark me down as on-leave.
But on the bright side, I already was home all of yday since it was a general holiday. And I got to stay back today too. So it's Sunday,Monday and this Tuesday. Chock-fulla holidays! Though I'll be paying the price for today. Hmph.
Next time around I'mma pray with the wording so correct, connotation and implication so accurate that I'll land myself an awesome hartal-holiday. Just you wait and watch!
