Why can't I choose my family!?

this one's my ALL-TIME favourite fridge magnet. totally expresses the way i feel. -almost!




That's the million-dollar question for me right now. Even though I know the answer already. Can't get the bugging thought outta my head.

We can choose who should be our friends. [though i personally believe my friends were not exactly chosen. they were meant to be my friends from the very beginning!]
Then WHY-OH-WHYYYY can't I choose who should be my family and who shouldn't be family? I could have done away with all the pathetic hypocrites infesting my family circle that way.
I wouldn't ever mind trading the whole lot of them for my friends instead. That way, my family would definitely qualify for an ideal-tv-sit.com-material family. Yep. The weirdest and looniest and the funniest in one and the same family. Only if I could get rid of the unwanted elements and put in my friends instead.

But things never were meant to be that easy, were they?
God never wants life to be a drag. He adds just the right amount of drama, tension, happiness and surprises and the end result is-Life. That incongruous mix of Everything.

Life was NEVER meant to be perfect. It needs its balance. And balance doesn't mean perfection! Balance includes all those bad stuff [loss, unexpected unpleasant stuff, not having things your way, well, everything that's not nice], good stuff [unexpected simple joys, chocolate gifts, music, me-time, blah-blah] and the extraordinarily good stuff and really ugly stuff.

Life was never a straight line of moderate good news. It's all about ups and downs, bumps and shocks. Innit?

So, if I were allowed to choose my family as well, I had probably put in the nice people in and keep out the bad 'uns, THUS messing up the Balance of Life.

That means, I'm just stuck in here with the people I'm not exactly enjoying being around. While the people I lurve with my whole heart can't be my blood ties ad the undeserving ones are related to me. Ugh!

Then again, that's how the world works! And I don't think i had EVER be happy with PERFECT HAPPINESS in this life on earth!

25 unexpected things about me

...which I don't think you will EVER comprehend. But still, you ought to know, since I was tagged to do this list long time back.
[See Jean? i keep promises, even if I do delay them by years at times!]

Shall we begin?

1. I believe in "15 till I die!"[doesn't make much sense since I'm no more even a teen]

2. I bought a cell phone only this January. It's weird that I have been phone-less for so long when everyone 13+ now seems to have a phone to boot.

3. I'm the mastermind who comes up with the zaniest and most impractical plans for my group. Never mind that we never try to actually work them out.

4. I'm insanely in love with, and proud of my pet name. You probably could only find people who are ashamed of their pet names. Not me!

5. And I love my real name just as much.

6. I like my blogger name too! [okay, that's it. I'm gonna stop gushing over my own names. makes me look like I have a totally inflated ego]

7. I STILL fantasize that I have this long-lost twin brother/elder brother whose name matches mine-Azhar! Now all I gotta do is find him,maybe he's in S.Korea? Or Spain? Papua New Guinea?

8. I'm sliiightly claustrophobic. I can bear closed spaces but they freak me out. Like, I could be sitting in the aircraft, and all that I can think of is that I'm stuck in here, can't simply walk out of this craft, what if it crashes, etc etc... Which is why I TOTALLY heart the desi autorickshaws. Yeah! completely desi girl!

9. I'm having a non-stop craving for pani-puris which aren't available anywhere within 1000 miles of where I live. Will anyone ship them to me??

10. I hate Roadies and Splitsvilla. Roadies used to be okay until the fourth season, then they lost it. Splitsvilla? you watch it, and I have a valid reason ow to hate you. Ugh!

11. I'm not exactly ur idea of healthy girl. in fact, i look positively anorexic. and i'm not interested enuf to eat a lot. but it ain't bcos I wanna stay skinny. it's just that i never was a foodie.

12. i enjoy cartoons much more than my kid sis. she likes hindi serials [OMG!] ...nah, just kidding!

13. I'm messy. And my mom's a cleanliness-freak.

14. I'm friggingly awesome at annoying people. My guru who kick started that passion in me is Alden Nusser whose book "French Fries Up your Nose" inspired me and has changed me into a "better" person forever. Hats off to you dude, you are the ultimate star!

15. have got wild, untameably curly hair. but i still love it sooo much!

16. I don't sweat much, even if i do, i don't turn on the fan. it's all about conserving energy bud.

17. my IDEAL PLAN FOR THE MOMENT is, save up money, hire an RV-trailer sort of bus/van[the kind rock stars travel in during tours], and go on the trip of a life-time across India with my Offbeat girlfriends,all the other People-I-Love. W.o.w! We'll have a video-cam and I'll keep on blogging to let you into the details.

18. I'm an obsessive kind of person. I get crushes and obsessions quickie.

19. I never had cable tv ever at my home. The first time came now, for this 2 month vaca. We are DD Direct DTH subscribers.

20. I smell my food before eating it. If it smells right, it tastes right!

21. I'm downright obsessed with the Korean channel on my DD DTH network. So much that I'm a complete die-hard fan of South Korean pop culture and now I know more about South Korean stars than I ever was interested in Bolly stars.

22. In fact, the reason WHY I'm a cable tv subscriber now is because DD DTH has removed my Korean channel from the network.

23. Even now I hound Korean entertainment blogs and websites for the latest info about what's going on there. I'm a major fan of South Korean music nowadays.

24. My choice of speaking vocab is plain weird and outta-this-world.

25. My former obsessions include F.R.I.E.N.D.S [sane enuf], Rajeev Khandelwal [bored now], Harry Potter [I even have HP game cards and a Marauder's map of my college i created myself], and there are obsessions that still prevail, like brothers, Keira Knightley etc. I'm guessing my craziest obsession to date must be This S.Korean one though.

My current celebrity crushes are two Korean stars, Lee Minho and Kang Ji Hwan. Two very wow personalities.


I tag anyone who is interested enough.

What I REALLY wanted to say

It was farewell time at college [finally! them juniors took looooooong enuf to throw us a farewel party.] In fact, they have taken so long that we kind of feel emotionally drained now. No tears, choked up voices or anything. Not even too many teary hugs. [In fact, I gave out the only hug that happened today. And it wasn't even teary. Damn conventional behaviours! The farewell seems so incomplete since no one really cried. Nimisha and Vrinda did. They got all teary watching our PG final year crying.
Myself, Vinaya and Namitha are like laughing, getting bored, sweating [it's summer!], slinking down our seats hiding from view whenever it seemed like we might be called up to give a nostalgia-induced teary speech...and doing literally EVERYTHING we normally do. NO TEARS. In fact, watching the other 2 tear up, we were more like, "what the....!?"

Which is why, when I was called up to talk, I couldn't say all the things I'd wanted to say. Instead, I ranted about random stuff.

SO TO ALL MY WONDERFULLY UNIQUE GURUS AND MY JUNIORS AND MY SENIORS,
THIS IS WHAT I REALLY, REALLY WANTED TO SAY-

"First off, I want to tell everyone that I know I haven't been a perfect, ideal student. If anything, I was less-than-perfect. I got into dumb fights with my teachers, I bunked classes and would jump in front of them with the least sense of shame and what not..
I'm really really heartfelt sorry for all the wrong things I did and sorry for the things I didn't do.
I'm lucky that I got a family here who still loves me completely-with my flaws, with my imperfection. Brennen is a home I never thought I could find here, and you people have been like the best family I could ever hope for. Thank you all for taking me in.

Like Supriya said, even I feel sort of orphaned just by thinking that, "hey, there's no more Brennen in your life. No more hanging around, hiding from teachers when you ought to have sat for their hours in class, falling in and out of crushes, finding happiness in the simplest things of life. There's no more of this world for you from now on. Gosh! And now I suddenly feel all small and abandoned. No more of Brennen. But that seems the same as saying "I'm homeless!"

And there were so many beautiful moments from my life here. it's been beautiful living here, and it's come to a beautiful end. Ya sure, there are regrets, there's still a long list of things I wanted to do from here. I found a totally unlikely friendship with Leena ma'am and Sarita ma'am, thanks to the debate fever last year. I got a brother from my very first year. I had a kind of "discovered-then-lost-then-found" friendship with Supri. Seriously yaar, how come we lost that great relationship last year and thankfully found it back this year?! and i learnt so much about things I never knew existed.

Thanks to Brennen and all of you, I can say that, "yes, I had a beautiful life treasured away in a beautiful world called Brennen."

you can't ever take that away from me!
[hand on heart] I loved it here,
but that doesn't mean I'm returning here!!

Bang!

And I'm back!
Exams [almost] over!