Holla!
The youth cultural fest is done with.I could have gone too.But-I voluntarily quit.Why?
I won for film review,first place.
Bodhana wanted me to do poetry,since she was damn too busy.
I end up swapping places with Vinaya.She takes up film reviewing,and I-poetry.
Or even better-Versification.
That's how we planned.But things don't turn out the way you plan,do they?
Not always,anyway.
I was gloomy @ the prospect of a youth festival without my sweet big bruv.
And when the day was declared,I backed out.So naturally,Vinaya too.
It somehow didn't seem fun without him.
And here I was,regretting the decision.Afterall,I could have had fun!
Vinaya had another trip connekted with the youth fest.So she didn't regret as much.
She along with Vaika,Nazar,Supri dear and[?] were participating in Western Music section.
I could have done that,but I skipped out on that too.Regret#2.
Well,they were supposed to have gone on sunday for the youth fest-on our classmate's wedding.
But here again,I show you the distance btw a person's decision and what actually happens in the end.
The whole thing got cancelled b'cos they didn't have a bass guitarist,I think.
Vinaya 'n' Vaika ended up attending the wedding with us!
P.S-Missing you terribly,bruv!!!!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Being me-self
What after slowly recovering from that sad death, I'm slipping back to my uncaring attitude.
It's not like I'm so nasty.Not at all.
The uncaring pose is just so fake.
I just put it on so as not to get hurt.And believe me, I'm too sensitive for my own good. Even the smallest remark can drown me down into a self-hating abyss...
I'm the worst of the whole lot..Everyone's just around me just because of some kind of formality..No one really loves me..It's all just pity..
Worser thoughts have happened.But they are best kept hidden within me.
If I seem cold,it's only because I imagine that everyone is just putting up with me.So in order to "release" them from the drama, I just slip into my uncaring attitude.
Hey, but I'm not like that always! This self-hating is only a phase that happens once in a while.Otherwise I'm pretty happy and crazy.A party animal(but I'm NOT an animal.I object to that description)
Spread the loooooooove everwhere!
It's not like I'm so nasty.Not at all.
The uncaring pose is just so fake.
I just put it on so as not to get hurt.And believe me, I'm too sensitive for my own good. Even the smallest remark can drown me down into a self-hating abyss...
I'm the worst of the whole lot..Everyone's just around me just because of some kind of formality..No one really loves me..It's all just pity..
Worser thoughts have happened.But they are best kept hidden within me.
If I seem cold,it's only because I imagine that everyone is just putting up with me.So in order to "release" them from the drama, I just slip into my uncaring attitude.
Hey, but I'm not like that always! This self-hating is only a phase that happens once in a while.Otherwise I'm pretty happy and crazy.A party animal(but I'm NOT an animal.I object to that description)
Spread the loooooooove everwhere!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Death
Yet another death.Yet another acquaintance I know.
When mom hung up on the phone and told me what had happened and asked me who had died,well,what can I tell you?
I felt knocked out,breathless.
I knew her from college.Sometimes travelled together even.
Apparently her dupatta(shawl) got caught when trying to cross the rails.They somehow didn't notice the train that rushed past a second later,which left her dead.
Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajioon.
Mom was worried I might get too worried.But for me it was just another reminder that death is always sharp in front of you.
For me it was Shani's death all over again.
[My cousin,my dear brother, left us last year May6th.Praying to Allah,that we shall all meet again in happy circumstances in the Hereafter.Ameen]
Couldnt help crying.
When mom hung up on the phone and told me what had happened and asked me who had died,well,what can I tell you?
I felt knocked out,breathless.
I knew her from college.Sometimes travelled together even.
Apparently her dupatta(shawl) got caught when trying to cross the rails.They somehow didn't notice the train that rushed past a second later,which left her dead.
Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajioon.
Mom was worried I might get too worried.But for me it was just another reminder that death is always sharp in front of you.
For me it was Shani's death all over again.
[My cousin,my dear brother, left us last year May6th.Praying to Allah,that we shall all meet again in happy circumstances in the Hereafter.Ameen]
Couldnt help crying.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
2008 has arrived!!!! So what?
Hello everyone!
Long time since I blogg'd something,I think.
Well,I have crashed back to reality.After the 15 days of laziness and non-existence..its back2business.
(wondering what I mean by "non-existence"? I don't really like rules.I just make up words to air what I mean.So what I meant by 'non-existence' is---I ceased to be a person,the face I show in outer circles_I was at ease with myself.Not at all self-conscious.Usually when I'm around strangers,I'm guarded.Like Chloe in the book 'Sold Out'. Sorry,obviously you are wondering which Chloe.Anyway,coming to the point;what I meant was that I wasn't at all worried about the person called me.)
So the new year has arrived.
Am I not excited?
Not at all.I barely gave it a thought,except for wishing my friends and family the cliched 'HAPPY NEW YEAR!'
After all the new year bashes,what's left? Or does anyone care? Are the parties just for the sake of "fun"? To forget the tensions and worries for the time being?
2007 has gone.2008 has arrived.Does the changing of a year matter to me?Does it make any difference?
Once it used to.I used to make resolutions to be a good kid,stay out of trouble etc. etc..
I had end up breaking them the very next day itself.Its all just a kind of ritual.
Every year I hope,yes this year will be better.Lesser violence in India,no communal riots at all, no more wars, no more tensions, peace prevails...
And every year, I'm left bitter.
Hopes burst out---yet again.....
Still I keep on praying and trying to do my bit towards a better,secular India.
Long time since I blogg'd something,I think.
Well,I have crashed back to reality.After the 15 days of laziness and non-existence..its back2business.
(wondering what I mean by "non-existence"? I don't really like rules.I just make up words to air what I mean.So what I meant by 'non-existence' is---I ceased to be a person,the face I show in outer circles_I was at ease with myself.Not at all self-conscious.Usually when I'm around strangers,I'm guarded.Like Chloe in the book 'Sold Out'. Sorry,obviously you are wondering which Chloe.Anyway,coming to the point;what I meant was that I wasn't at all worried about the person called me.)
So the new year has arrived.
Am I not excited?
Not at all.I barely gave it a thought,except for wishing my friends and family the cliched 'HAPPY NEW YEAR!'
After all the new year bashes,what's left? Or does anyone care? Are the parties just for the sake of "fun"? To forget the tensions and worries for the time being?
2007 has gone.2008 has arrived.Does the changing of a year matter to me?Does it make any difference?
Once it used to.I used to make resolutions to be a good kid,stay out of trouble etc. etc..
I had end up breaking them the very next day itself.Its all just a kind of ritual.
Every year I hope,yes this year will be better.Lesser violence in India,no communal riots at all, no more wars, no more tensions, peace prevails...
And every year, I'm left bitter.
Hopes burst out---yet again.....
Still I keep on praying and trying to do my bit towards a better,secular India.
Love to all,bye!!!!!!
Anyway,I don't want to sound like a party-pooper.So happy new year to everyone!!!!
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